Musings Episode 89: Convince No One…

Sappy Sunday.

Happy.*

Happy Sunday.

Happy and Sappy Sunday?

I don’t know/care…let’s just start.

Musings Episode 89: Convince No One…

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Well….last week was exhausting.

I generally grow tired and exhausted when I’m required to engage in social contact that involves…people I don’t want to engage in social contact with.

So…when this happens, it feels like a battery that’s being drained and in desperate need of a recharge – I’m that battery.

There are also times when this happens that it feels like a battery that’s going to overload and explode – I am also that battery.

On both occasions, generally one of the exchanges that count as exhausting are whenever I’m talking to some egotistical slack-jawed junkslut – mostly in business.

Personal-life wise, I do a pretty good job of avoiding those types all together.

…and by “those types” I just mean someone up their own ass.

If you read my previous posts on ego and competition, there are a plethora of bad eggs like this in today’s time.

I’ve always been on the side of the argument that narcissism and egoism aren’t the same, and that in a world of this or that, narcissism is better than being insecure any day.

Largely because of the fact that when insecure people talk, in my experience many of them always seem to need convincing.

Convincing that they’re doing a good job.

Convincing that they’re loved.

Convincing that they’re a wonderful person.

Convincing that life doesn’t suck half as bad as they think it does.

Convincing that their friends really like them.

Convincing that their grandma (who’s been dead for like a millennium) really did love them.

They need convincing no matter how many times you may try to lift them up.

Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with a little reassurance – but there’s a fine line.

With convincing, approval likes to tag along.

That is to say, insecurity often brings along the habit of a person doing things to seek approval.

Being a “people pleaser”.

Narcissists on the other hand, are interesting in the sense that they already tell themselves everyone loves them, they’re the best thing since sliced bread, and everything they do is like the first time something really useful was invented for human kind.

Like the lightbulb.

Or condoms.

They also obsess over being the best…which in turn, often makes them push themselves to be the best.

There are narcissist that are really just insecure people masquerading as narcissist (like Trump), I think, but that’s another story for another time.

So what am I getting at here…right – convincing.

Yeah, stop doing that shit.

It’s your life.

Stop bending over backwards to try to prove yourself if you already know you’ve made something decent or are making something decent of yourself when it comes to personal development.

Oddly, in several relationships across the board it seems like people need to be convinced more and more about different things.

Are people growing more insecure?

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Take business for instance. Remember the good old days where you just swung by a company, maybe sweet talked the receptionist into getting you a spot to see the boss, or walked in regularly and asked to see the person in charge because you saw an ad in the paper?

You put in your CV/resumé, you either got seen the next day, or same day, had an informal chat, and before you knew it you were hired?

There were no 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, interviews plus one drink-the-blood-of-a-goat final 5th ritual interview, just because they needed to cross-examine to make sure they were convinced enough to hire you.

There was no portfolio you had to present, no vague requests to “prove a track record of success” without actually specifying exactly what they’re looking for.

A guy looked at your CV, had a chat with you to see if what was on your CV wasn’t bullshit, and went with his gut.

There was an unsaid trust.

This amazingly managed to do just as good of a job as what recruiters are “trained” to do (but fail ever so miserably at) when it comes to ensuring people were hired based off of their talent or skills they could bring to a company, rather than nepotism or particularism.

Or for another example, take romantic relationships.

Remember when you could just walk up to someone, apologize for interrupting, and compliment them on something you really liked about them physically?

Or maybe you’d just be in the bookstore and strike up a conversation about a book you see someone considering buying and you’ve bought it before so hey great, conversation starter.

There’d either be a positive or negative reaction, you’d maybe swap numbers (home numbers, no mobile phones then), eventually go on dates, etc.

Once you were in the relationship, texting day-to-day wasn’t necessary nor was it possible.

The person just trusted that you liked them and them only, and when you both did call to meet up again, you valued it more.

You never really had to convince one another you were into each other, because each time you both met it was like meeting each other all over again – all due to a build up of the feeling of missing one another and looking forward to seeing each other.

Friendships are the same way. I could go on and on and on but I think you’re smart enough to draw up your own examples.

Along with a culture of busyness, of victim mentality, it seems like there’s a culture of a need to be convinced, which perpetuates a cycle of a need to prove, a desire for approval.

Nobody really says “prove it to me”.

Alright so maybe some business people do, but nobody really says prove it.

What are you, 5?

They won’t ever really say it because they don’t want to sound 5.

But actions speak loud enough to send the message without words ever having to leave the mouth.

I’m very much action oriented…so maybe this irritates me more than others.

But frankly, I don’t believe in people’s words.

Ironic, right?

A writer, who writes, and writes, and writes – but doesn’t believe other people’s words.

Well, maybe it’s a little more nuanced than that.

I believe people’s words, but I watch their actions.

I don’t believe in proving, don’t believe in convincing, and don’t seek approval.

I’ll take someone’s word, trust and expect them to do the action, and leave them to it.

If they don’t I don’t really care, because I don’t attach much weight to their words first time around.

I do believe that actions speak a lot louder than words, when carried out.

Largely because of the fact that as the desire from people, of people to prove themselves, to convince other people that they are what they are, can do what they can do, feel how they feel, and need what they need, increases…it only perpetuates the issue of words becoming devoid, meaningless – lip service.

Saying whatever it is someone wants to hear makes words’ value drop to absolute zero.

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Saying whatever it is someone wants to hear increases the need for actual proof through actions to be carried out.

In people wanting others to convince them, to prove to them, whatever it is that they want proof or convincing of, it makes it harder to separate the real from the pleaser.

The true from the false.

The raw from the sugar-coated.

Which creates the theory that if people realized the weight of their words, the value of their words, they wouldn’t use them so superfluously.

They wouldn’t just spit off at the mouth.

They would think before speaking…and this would quite possibly restore value to words used.

Trust ties in with this. When a person constantly needs convincing or proof, they lack trust.

You can’t cure that.

You can’t make someone trust you.

It just has to happen.

So if you can’t make someone trust you, and they’re not willing to let themselves trust you, you can’t really convince them either.

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If you’re someone who doesn’t seek approval, this can be pretty frustrating.

So here’s the simple solution to at least clear your head.

Just say it.

Say it to the insecure types, the untrustworthy types of people you may encounter in life.

“I’m not going to convince you.”

But only say it on the basis your words carry fucking weight.

Two things can happen.

They either will disengage in conversation with you, and that’s that, or they’ll realize your lack of attempting to use a silver tongue means there is truth in what you speak.

Stop pandering to insecure people.

Catering to such a frame of mind will inevitably snowball into our downfall as human beings.

Think about it.

Stay cool…

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 89: Convince No One… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

“I believe that every single one of us…

Musings: Quote Wednesdays…

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Just a little mid-week food for thought as a follow up from this week’s episodic musing.

Hope everyone’s having a great week.

As always…

Stay cool.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 87: Problems…

Yeah – touched on this a little a few episodic musings ago. Let’s expand a little.

Musings Episode 87: Problems…

I was talking to a friend the other day about some things, like mostly just what’s going on in the news and what not.

I usually don’t like to watch the news too frequently – it’s boring and just a shit show of different depressing things.

When I say depressing, I mean it just amplifies the chaos that I know is already going on in the world.

But then it also tends to over-exaggerate things, too.

One thing I’ve learnt from travelling is that news is told differently, in different places. Different countries.

One country may minimise a problem, the other may blow it out of proportion, yet another may not even consider it news worth reporting.

And that got me thinking – just how often do people do this in their everyday lives?

There’s a saying, “1st world problems,” usually accompanied by something like “using your smart phone to log onto your bank account only to see it has 0.16 pence in it” or something similar.

Or “1st world problems: Driving to the gym only to realise you forgot your headphones so now you can’t workout”.

There’s a lot of superficial problems floating around.

In the context of friendships, business, family, and relationships in general.

Superficial problems which people have a skilled habit of creating.

Superficial problems which are created, and while initially seemingly harmless, create larger, real problems for another party – rarely the party that ever creates them.

Why do we create so many superficial problems?

Is it because of convenience?

Of comfort?

Family “can’t” meet for the holidays because of -xyz.

Maybe it’s feeling like they all have to spend time with their new “extensions” of family, rather than making an effort to get everyone together under one roof.

So a superficial problem like that causes a real problem of family disconnect and discord.

Friends stop physically hanging out with each other because of distance.

And by distance I mean laziness of getting in the car and taking that “cumbersome 30 minute to an hour drive”.

So they opt for chatting on social media instead thinking this “nourishes” the relationship, which is nothing close to what they called just a couple of decades ago “socialising”.

A superficial problem like that causes, as the Chinese say “the tea to go cold”, or the real problem of not building a healthy, real social network of non-apathetic people that are there when you need them most.

Then people say they’re “lonely”.

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Photo by Clint McKoy on Unsplash

Business, work, and jobs.

Not educated enough? Underqualified.

Go to university, get an education.

Got an education? Well, that’s great but you don’t have work experience.

No work experience? Get work experience.

Have work experience and an education? Not quite enough education, get more education.

Got more education? Now it’s too much education.

You’re overqualified, ergo not eligible for the role in fear you may “find something better”.

So you try for part-time work to keep food on the table.

Nope, sorry, try again.

Can’t get it because employers don’t want you sticking around temporarily.

So a string of superficial problems like that costs a person their human security – their dignity to live and enjoy life as a respectable human being.

No food? Go grocery shopping from your smart phone – and get it delivered.

Hungry? Cook what’s in the fridge.

Don’t wanna cook? Order out.

Don’t know what to eat? Say you’re “starving” then end up snacking.

The food you bought in the fridge goes off. Then you’ve gotta throw it away.

A superficial problem like that causes a person’s nutritional profile or daily diet to go down the tube, leading to a very real problem of long-term health issues.

Or my favourite – this new “food shortage” everyone’s raving about.

It’s called over-consumption and waste, dumbass.

Convenience. Convenience and laziness. Convenience and laziness seem to be ruining the basis of human self-reliance.

Lack of self-reliance or independence causes a sense of dissatisfaction.

Have dissatisfaction? You’re not happy.

Find your happy place.

Join a yoga class.

Happiness isn’t yoga, motherfucker.

Happiness isn’t finding your zen.

It’s not meditating.

Meditating is about reaching a neutral place.

It’s not the quinoa in your fucking bowl or your morning chamomile tea.

If you have all the creature comforts and more in life, and you’re still not happy, well…

You’re not happy because somewhere…you’re disgusted with yourself.

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Disgusted because somewhere you know you’re not really pulling your weight when it comes to your existence, which is affecting other people’s existences, through creating simple, silly, superficial problems, which turn into very real problems for other people.

Happiness is in your existence. It shouldn’t take yoga, or tea, or “woosah” or any of that other bull.

You’re not happy with yourself when you’re not being a decent human being.

You’re not happy with yourself when you know you’re creating superficial problems.

Sure you may know this – it may fester and eat away at the back of your subconscious, but you’ve grown quite comfortable with ignoring it by indulging in your little world of convenience, blowing the “news” in your head out of proportion thus justifying your actions and feelings.

I’m not saying convenience is bad – I’m simply saying indulging in too much of it can cause an absolute shit storm.

Get out of your bubble.

Realise you’re not the only one that exists in this world…

…and understand that your “superficial” problems, may very well be affecting other people’s lives on a very real, and very detrimental level, because you’re too senseless to realise it.

Think about it.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 86: Problems… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 86: Give Back…

Hope everyone’s having a great weekend.

Let’s just get started.

Musings Episode 86: Give Back…

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This week’s had me thinking about some things…

Last week, I wrote about ego.

This week, I wanted to expand on that but change the tempo a little.

I managed to watch The Philadelphia Story over the weekend. A favourite of mine but something I haven’t seen in a while…and something hit me.

We live in a world where a lot’s going on right now.

Not to say that every generation hasn’t – but let’s stop sugar coating – humans on autopilot have a habit of continually reaching all time lows before redeeming themselves by remembering to be “human” again.

Generally, it’s a few shitty people that make things worse for the less shitty ones.

We’ve got the shitty ones trying to shift things right now.

When it comes to this thing called life and living it, our chosen currency is a bunch of IOUs – fiat currency.

Everyone works for it, whether you’re working for someone or having someone work for you.

Entrepreneurs put in work early so they don’t have to later, or work outside of work while still being employed.

People who work as employees that don’t choose the route of an entrepreneur put in a lot of hours to build an entrepreneur’s dream.

To the entrepreneurs reading this, let that last one sink in for a minute.

If you’ve got employees working for you, who believe in you, who give value in their work and don’t shirk their responsibilities, who don’t mind building your dream, and are perfectly content with just collecting a cheque every couple of weeks or every month, it’s important to remember that they, too, have lives.

While some may not have the balls to learn to say “no,” don’t be a douchebag and work them around the clock.

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, employees are a flock of sheep, while entrepreneurs are wolves.

Both the wolf and the sheep rely on being fed, albeit in two different ways.

But entrepreneurs whose entrepreneurial pursuits require employees on a large structured scale (like a company)…well they kind of turn into shepherds.

If you’ve got employees, or a business that isn’t automated or built off royalties, you can be one of two types of shepherds.

The one that looks at their sheep like they’re there to sustain you – by providing wool, milk, and cheese.

Or you can just look at them like they’re dispensable and ready to be slaughtered at any given time for meat.

The latter way of thinking will feed you, but only for a brief period.

While the former will feed you, clothe you, and take care of you long-term – contingent on the fact you take care of them, assuring no harm comes to them that’s not self-inflicted.

You can see where I’m going with this.

If you’re going to be an entrepreneur, don’t be a dick.

Remember to give back, while building your dream.

Because ultimately, it’s your employees that help sustain you.

If you’re an entrepreneur without employees, still remember to give back to your customers/consumers, while building your dream.

Don’t always look for people to buy what you’re selling, but remember to throw in some freebies that provide value, here and there, on a consistent basis.

I think this is important.

While I’m not religious, I will say this is kind of like a sort of tithe – not to a church, but to the people who are taking the time out to take interest in what you have to say, do, sell.

This is especially true just starting out, but also important to remember to continue when you reach the success you want.

Don’t just run around asking people to pay attention to what you have going on – take interest in them too.

Social media is ironically not very social anymore.

You’ve got more businesses running around liking other businesses’ stuff just to try to promote their own products.

It’s one of the reasons why I made my social media accounts private for some time.

It gets boring having people write asking you to promote their brand – with no consideration of reciprocation or perhaps actually liking what it is you’re doing.

The world needs more collaboration – not favour asking.

Collaboration unlocks the potential to lead to genuine engagement – not forced.

This is especially the case when it comes to business to business, but even more so when it comes to employers with their employees.

Collaborate with your employees, especially with the ones who really show good work ethic – make sure their needs are being met just as much as yours. Make sure you’re giving them work-life balance.

And when I say work ethic, I don’t mean the ones that are constantly staying at the office late or there early – that’s not work ethic, that’s just putting their life into the company.

Stop the bad habit by disallowing them to do this.

And don’t think you can compensate them by making your office more “fun”.

Outside of work they have lives too – remind them of it.

This culture of busyness has everything all screwed up.

It used to be a sign of wealth when people had time to live their lives – now it seems like he who has the least time is most successful – don’t kid yourself.

You’re robbing yourself of life when you do this if you’re an employee, and you’re robbing your employees of their lives when you make them do this if you’re an employer.

Employees have to start recognising their value, and employers have to start respecting that value.

One more important thing.

If you’re an entrepreneur and you see you have employees who are entrepreneurial minded like yourself, don’t covet them; don’t hold them back; don’t refuse to hire them; and don’t fire them, if you see that one day they’ll leave your company.

As long as a currency system exists, everyone needs money.

Give them a chance to build their life, the way they want to, just as someone gave you a chance.

And when someone’s ready to leave your employment, let them, without malice or hatred – in the words of Enchiridion, we own nothing – and especially no one – in this world.

Appreciate the value they’ve provided you, then when they feel it’s their time to grow as a person, let them, and wish them well when they move on.

Give back.

Give back to your customers, your employees, your business partners you ask to collaborate with you.

The same can be applied outside the context of business.

Give back – to your friends, your family, the stranger that holds the door open for you, the person that says thanks, and the cashier that smiles and says hello when you go for groceries.

Don’t let your ego take over.

Give back by not being a dick – give back by being a decent human being.

As always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 86: Give Back… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 85: Ego…

Hope everyone’s had a great weekend.

Let’s just get right to it.

Musings Episode 85: Ego…

You’ll remember last week’s post where I talked about running in place, the two different sources of dissatisfaction, and a few other things.

You’ll also probably remember what I talked about the week before last, about guts over fear, and if you really want to do something, to just do it.

I think both of those topics have to do with concrete things.

But there’s something else that ties in with what people do in every day life, why they do it and how.

Come to think of it – it also ties in with what people don’t do in every day life, and why they don’t do it as well.

Ego.

There’s two key players in our brains – logic and creativity.

Some may argue that the two are separate, because they’re opposites. Logic is left brained while creativity dominates the right. The same could be said about emotion.

True, but while emotion and creativity are different from logic, they still support each other in certain functions.

Logic allows us to execute a systematic and structured plan of action to carry out our creative thoughts.

Picking up the paint brush, holding it a certain way, mixing certain colours, dry time of the canvas, layering, etc, etc. The same goes for photography.

Logic can also allow us to step away from an emotional situation and take an objective look at why that emotion is being felt in that situation.

Creativity can allow us to create something useful, something functional, with aesthetic appeal, or a “fun” element to it.

Emotion allows us to put the human back into humanity when logic fails to acknowledge when emotion is needed to maintain rationality, and vice versa.

So if logic and emotion, or logic and creativity can be interdependent on each other, lend to each other, and at the same time can be considered vastly different qualities that can be separated from each other, why then, don’t people apply this to a fundamental part of their lives – their careers?

What about their relationshipsPersonal development?

I could go on, but the point I’m trying to make here is, in today’s society it’s important to remember that you’re not what you do.

You’re not your job.

You’re not your job title.

You’re not your role in your relationship.

You’re not the car you buy.

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You’re you.

While it’s great to have all that, remember who and what you are, without all of it.

You’re this living, breathing organism, that like a Final Fantasy (RPG) game character just keeps leveling up – maybe getting a new weapon here, or some new armour there, or some new skills here, or better health there, or new party members here, and so on and so on.

You gain the weapons and the armor from money earned at each battle, but you gain the better health, skills, and other things from experience points.

You’re a living being that (hopefully) progressively changes as you gain experience with new, different, experiences, constantly getting to know yourself better.

Experiences and situations are accessories that you choose to take on or confront in your life.

So why not separate yourself from all that other stuff – the job, the car, the house, the relationship?

Ego.

Ego is a very abstract thing. Logically you can’t define it, it’s pretty difficult to pin down.

Fuck what religion, or spirituality, or all of that stuff says.

I think those types of things can still taint or manipulate the message of what ego really is for their own benefit, which I’ll explain towards the end of this.

I’m not saying I have a perfect definition for it either, but I will say this: people today, not that they haven’t been before, but even more so today, with the advancements of technology, and the comfort of convenience, which has ultimately lead to a false perception of self-reliance, are running wild with their egos.

Your ego tells you you are your job.

Your job title.

Your ego tells you you are the only person in the household who gets things done.

Your ego tells you you are lower, middle, upper, and elite class.

Hell, society tells you you’re all that too.

Society tells you if you drive this car you’re this. If you wear this, you’re that. If you live in this neigbourhood, you’re this.

Society also has a tendency to try and dictate to you what you aren’t, as well.

It goes both ways, too.

While people who identify themselves as rich may assume someone who doesn’t drive a Bentley isn’t financially savvy or educated, people who identify as poor may look at someone who’s educated or well off as being “soft,” never having experienced hardship.

Society itself, is a collection of egos, communicating to other egos – your ego.

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Attempting to tell you what you should have, what you shouldn’t, what you do deserve, what you don’t, what you have done, what you haven’t, what you have been through, what you haven’t, what you should be watching, doing, saying, BEING.

The most popular stuff is shoved in front of your face everyday on Facebook, Netflix, Instagram, cable TV, Twitter, the news, shop windows, magazines, movies, on and on and on and on…

But if you strip all the “accessories” away, what are you?

Who are you?

Do you really know what you like?

What you want?

What you want to do?

What you’ve done?

Without anybody telling you, have you made these decisions yourself?

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again.

What you do, is not who you are. What you’ve done is simply a history, a timeline, of how far you’ve realised your own potential and pushed your own limits.

Mediocrity never was, and never should be an intended destiny for a species as intelligent as the human race.

Your only competition is the version of yourself you were yesterday – so don’t let others measure you with their own limiting beliefs – know your worth.

We have free will. Free will to do or to not do something. Free will to cooperate with each other.

People’s egos run wild when they try to do this to other people.

Telling them WHAT they are, rather than asking.

Telling them WHERE they should be, rather than letting them just…be.

Acting like they’re helping someone, only to gain mileage for themselves later.

Trying to hold someone back when they see them positively progressing forward, because they’re not happy with their own progress.

That’s ego.

I’m not this blog.

Not the places I’ve been.

Not the work I’ve done.

Nor the entreprenurial pursuits.

Not the photos I’ve taken.

Not the people I’ve dated.

Nor the friends I have.

I’ve enjoyed all those things and still do – but they’re great additions to my life – they’re not me.

I’m a living, breathing, organism, who’s amassed knowledge, feelings, experience, and an understanding of myself from things I’ve chosen to turn my attention to.

I’m just one big makeup of energy, choosing to expend myself on whatever I feel is right on a day-to-day basis, and recharging at night.

The same way I don’t let just anybody drive my car, I don’t let just anything drain my energy – or time.

I prefer to expend energy into things that’ll exchange that same positive energy.

But this is the important part.

I’m not talking about this bullshit, “you are what you think about most, always go around being nice to people” stuff.

Because this is what most people leave out:

There are a shit ton of people out there who can “act” nice to each other.

It doesn’t mean they’re genuine.

It doesn’t mean they want to see you do good – or even better than them, for that matter.

Will said something very interesting along the lines of this a while ago, have a listen:

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Who are the people that are fanning your flames?

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But what people have to realise is, no one is doing better than anyone else.

You’re just doing you. If you weren’t in their life, what would they have to measure themselves with? Someone else? What if no one was in their life?

You can’t possibly be “doing better” than anyone else, if everyone has their own personal goals and milestones.

So what do you care if you help someone out when they’re earnestly looking to become a better version of themselves?

You’re not what you do, but you’re not alone.

Cooperation is vital to human survival. Cooperation is just an exchange of good energies.

So check your ego at the door.

Have a sense of who you are at your core.

Don’t be a dick.

Be cordial (be nice).

Be genuine.

Lift up the people you call your friends, family, lovers, and others who are looking to do a little good in the world.

Look for others who do the same.

And don’t fuck with people who do any of the negative stuff you just read about.

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Photo by Thong Vo on Unsplash

As always…

Stay Awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 85: Ego… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 84: Running in Place…

Happy Sunday.

Hope everyone’s having a great weekend.

No fancy intro needed here today – let’s just jump right in.

Musings Episode 84: Running in Place…

Someone Told Me Something That Stuck With Me you Have To Envision Your Life And Then Go Backwards I've Been Living By That Motto For A While So I See Where I Need To Be Now I'm Just Backtracking And Trying To Get Back Up There Bruno Mars, Bruno Mars quotes, Rego's Life quotes, Bruno Mars, Musings Episode 84 Running in Place, Rego's Life Musings Episode 84 Running in Place, Musings Episode 84 Running in Place Rego's Life, Rego's Life, regoslife, episodic musings, episodic musings of a quintessential entrepreneur, don't live the same day twice, rat race, entrepreneur, living one day in 70 years, living 70 days in one year, pros and cons of being an entrepreneur, running your own business, pros and cons of having a business, dissatisfaction, tired, routine, schedule, day in day out, job vs business, truth about being an entrepreneur

You’ll remember last week’s episodic musing where I talked about having guts over fear and just getting whatever it is you want to move forward with or start done.

Reason being is because it’s better to start something than to just entertain the thought and never start at all.

Some of you may already be doing this, and that’s good.

Others may still be on the fence.

There’s two types of running in place. I think one of them is more frustrating than the other, but they can both be a thorn in one’s side.

The first, is keeping everything in your life the same.

Living “one day in seventy years,” my great uncle used to say.

This is how most people are.

You have a job, a routine. You wake up, get ready for work, grab a quick breakfast, go to work, have a drink with friends, come back home, watch TV, go to bed, wash, rinse, repeat.

Some have families and do a similar cycle.

I call this the hamster wheel, or rat race type running in place.

You complain, but never get annoyed enough to slip out of your comfort zone and make change.

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Photo Credit: Philip Haynes

Then you have the second type of running in place.

Or perhaps, it’s a perceived running in place.

The kind where you’ve already started towards something you want to get accomplished, but it feels like you’re going nowhere.

Maybe this is self-perceived. Maybe you’re your own worst critic.

You get a lot accomplished, cover a lot of road, but somehow, at least in your mind, things feel stuck. The speedometer is stuck on slow and no matter how hard you press your foot to the pedal the damn thing won’t go any faster.

You have a schedule, unlike a routine, and things change and progress from day to day, but it never seems to move fast enough.

There’s a similarity with both.

I think this is the side of entrepreneurship that no one really does a hard sell on.

The side most would rather have you not know about.

The side you’ve got to deal with after the motivation and excitement have long passed.

When you’re working a business, there’ll be times you never really feel satisfied with what you’re doing – in the sense that you never really feel satisfied with what you’re accomplishing.

People may feel the same way when it comes to a job, but there’s a difference.

The similarities in the two are just purely the dissatisfaction.

But the key difference is the source of dissatisfaction.

In the context of a job, someone could be dissatisfied with their pay, their boss, their work hours, or the higher ups not taking notice of their work.

In the context of a business, someone could be dissatisfied with the effort they’re putting in, their oversight on an idea they come up with later, their inability to turn into Superman and work around the clock with zero sleep.

I think the former is a dissatisfaction that centers around other people and their approval of a person.

While the latter is a dissatisfaction that centers around yourself and your approval of yourself.

There’s a certain drive that separates entrepreneurs from desk jockeys. Something that separates entrepreneurs from the pack.

Management in companies want this drive in each and everyone of their employees.

The job advert that screams “we want entrepreneurial minded people! Driven people! Motivated people!”

Yet they fail to realise that in the context of a company, that’s a double edged sword.

You’ll have people that have drive, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be submissive and obedient.

You can’t have someone driven and submissive. They’re opposite qualities.

 

It’s where sayings like “sheep get slaughtered and wolves eat” come from.

You may get certain people that are sheep masquerading as wolves, but it only lasts for so long – until they’re willing to crush someone else’s throat to appease their “boss,” in hopes of climbing the corporate ladder.

So really, their sheep masquerading as wolves, but really coyotes in their nature.

When you come across a real wolf, you’re really just playing with fire.

Both types, sheep and wolves, have hopes and dreams. Both start out as motivated and driven. Both take different paths when it comes to progression.

It’s only one that’s easy to control with smoke screens and carrot on a stick incentives.

The feeling of running in place may happen with both, but here’s a message to the entrepreneur:

You’re building your dream. Not some manager’s. Not an executive board’s. Not a company’s. Yours.

Learn to be objective with yourself. Take a step back and look at the progress you’ve made. Use timelines if you have to.

By doing this you’ll realise just how much you’ve moved forward – and if you haven’t moved forward, well then you’ll realise just how much more you should be putting in.

It’s a weird thing to have to deal with. Businesses are like a watched pot. It never boils until you take your eyes off it and step away.

Then sometimes you come back and realise it’s boiling over or you’ve let all the water boil out.

There’s a delicate balance to be maintained.

Step away, then come back.

When you’re in a car, going 90 mph doesn’t seem like a lot.

But when you’re watching from the side of the track, that same car going 90 mph seems like it’s zooming past you.

Learn to be in the driver’s seat and on the sidelines sometimes.

It’ll make things feel a lot less like you’re running in place.

As always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 84: Running in Place… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 82: Options…

Hope everyone’s week is off to a great start. I remember talking to someone about options that a person has in every aspect of their life a while back…which pretty much inspired this week’s episodic musing. Let’s get started.

Musings Episode 82: Options

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I’d say in today’s time we live in a world of choice – lots of it. Largely on a consumer level, but on other levels too. There’s so many different forms of education, career choices, leisure time options, and ways of getting out and socialising that you’ll have people say the amount of options is overwhelming.

I’d say that’s bull.

Then, there are some who may feel like they don’t have any options.

That’s also bull.

True, there are an abundance of options out there, but if you’ve got focus, the options available hardly seem overwhelming and if anything, you can easily filter out the fluff.

When you think about it, the amount of options you have can actually help you have a better understanding of what it is you want out of life, in all aspects of life. Even feeling like you have no options at some point in life can force you to realise the options you do have, if you stay calm and think.

This is where focus comes in. The main thing is to use that focus to stay on track with whatever it is you want to accomplish.

Filtering is easy, but staying on track can sometimes be tricky – largely because it relies on consistency. As an entrepreneurial minded person I can attest to this.

I could have a number of ideas pop up in my head a week that seem like great business ideas. Where it gets tricky is staying consistent – sometimes it’s tempting to move on all of them at one time rather than planning things out methodically, or knocking out one at a time.

Thinking of so many ideas can open you up to so many options, even outside the entrepreneurial realm.

And having options means having access to different tools that can help you move any part of your life forward.

Knowledge creates options, and options are kind of like guide books that teach you which way you can use the tools you’ve uncovered through assessing your options.

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If you’re from my generation, maybe you were taught that you could be anything when you were younger – and maybe you were taught to pick a safe career option as you got older.

This was always a confusing trend of thought to me. You’re told you can be anything (including Spider-Man) when you’re younger – but as you get older, family/society tells you to “think about your future” and “pick a safe career choice”? Something like a lawyer, doctor, etc?

Forget wanting to be top athlete or pro skateboarder, and opt for a nice, quiet office job?

While I know the above “safe” options can in theory of course be smart (and sometimes recession proof), it’s the line of thinking that’s a contradiction.

I mean I can see where (most) parents are coming from – they want their kids to have stability, not lack for anything, and a financially stress-free life so they can actually enjoy the years that pass by.

But I think always opting for the safe option can be self-sabotaging.

This is where I think a hybrid approach works best.

There’s some partial truth that there are obvious benefits to choosing a “safe” career – but only if you know what type of benefits you’re talking about.

I think if a person feels more comfortable going with a safe option – with anything in life – it’s better to only use it as a tool to get where you really want to go – to enable you to do what you really want to do.

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In the context of business, picking a safe option really just means picking an option that gives you a steady source of cash flow over the required length of time it’s needed.

But it’s what you do with that cash flow that matters.

One thing I’ve learnt about being an entrepreneur – if you want to move anything forward, even outside of business, most of the time it takes cash flow, and time.

This can be with a hobby, travelling, a relationship, anything.

I really don’t get why people try and separate money from the equation when it comes to a lot of things they do in life.

If you want to learn how to play guitar, you’ve gotta first buy the guitar.

If you want to pursue a relationship, you’ve still gotta have the cash to meet up with the person – whether you’re driving or using public transportation. Even if you’re walking, if you wanna go and grab a bite (or make a bite to eat) it still takes cash.

Hell, even if you want to get in better shape you’ve gotta have the cash to eat properly.

There’s an interesting quote I’m fond of…

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Now this blog post isn’t to talk about money – but I can say that money, like knowledge, can give you more options.

And I can say that it’s important to realise that everyone, and I do mean everyone, has options.

The main thing is, you’ve got to pick what options are right for YOU.

Only you.

Nobody else can or should feel like they can dictate to you what your options are. It’s your life, you’ve got to live it, and you’ve got to deal with the results that the options you pick give you.

At the end of the day, you’ve got to do what feels right for you.

Choose your options wisely. Choose how to use your tools wisely.

Just for fun I’m gonna leave you with one of my favourite songs this year:

As always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 82: Options… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 81: Consistency…

Hope everyone’s week is off to a good start. Lately I’ve been working towards adding some new daily habits into my life, and that made me think about how important consistency is when trying out something new that you want to get yourself used to doing on a, well, consistent basis.

Then I thought about this post. Let’s get started.

Musings Episode 81: Consistency…

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So the topic of consistency has been bouncing around in my head a lot since the last musing. I’m a big fan of the website T-Nation, and while other people may bash them about their supplement prices, they don’t force you to buy them (so shuddup), and they’ve got some damn fine reading material.

One particular article talked about progress in workouts, and how the key lies in consistency. It takes about 21 days of daily, consistent completion of a workout, for the brain to “programme” itself into forming a habit – 21 days – the same amount of time it takes for you to visibly see progress with your physique when you workout and eat right.

The key is also in the timing – doing it at roughly the same time everyday…the same way you would with waking up, eating, or going to bed.

But this whole 21 day concept doesn’t just stop at working out, it applies to all aspects of life.

I remember a year or so back I wanted to improve different aspects of my memory – so I tried memory games for 21 days. While the first week was a bit of a struggle (making myself sit down and take out the time just sit still and do something which seemed so simple), after three weeks I had a noticeable difference in memory improvement (and I already had a sharp mind before that, mind you).

Consistency is one ingredient of several that make up the whole recipe of moving in the direction that you want.

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Like I mentioned in my last episodic musing, there are a range of other ingredients involved – standards, drive, quality relationships, comfort zones – that you have to take into account when planning and executing whatever it is you want to accomplish.

But in order to get the recipe’s results right, you’ve got to make sure you add in consistency bit by bit – it’s got to be part of each phase of the process.

You can have high standards, have the drive to achieve those standards, take your confidence from your comfort zone and help yourself get ready to progress towards something better, but if you don’t stay consistent – a milestone that you may want to achieve in a year, a month, a week – can easily turn into 3 years, 3 months, 3 weeks.

It’s like learning a language – there are language courses out there that you can learn fluency in any given language to an intermediate level in 2-3 weeks; considering it takes about 1000 words to reach fluency, in theory this doesn’t sound all too difficult – and it isn’t.

If you studied everyday, for 3 weeks, you could reach this.

But if you studied on and off, took a day off here, another one there, and maybe only ended up studying once or twice a week, it’d take you significantly longer. You may even have to revise the stuff you learnt the week prior just because you’re not using it on a frequent enough basis to retain it.

This is why consistency is so important.

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It’s what makes all the difference in your workouts, your diet, your education, your work, your business, everything.

Without consistency, while you may get things done eventually, you won’t necessairily get them done in the time that you want, or need.

You’ve also gotta factor in other people – which is why quality relationships are important – when thinking about accomplishing what you want to get done.

You can have the drive, the standards, the consistency – but you’ve got to be around and connect with people who won’t throw a wrench in the gears, so to speak.

If what you’re trying to accomplish involves cooperation with other people, you’ve got to make sure you’re working with cooperative people.

People who think that there’s not enough to go around, that you’re competition, that you may end up acquiring more than them (not that it would matter – we’ve all got our own path), cane be the absolute bane of consistency if they are a critical component in helping you move things forward.

You’ve gotta be around good people.

It’s amazing how there are a lot of factors involved here – a lot of little factors that make up the big picture.

Standards, drive, comfort zones, discipline, competition, cooperation, consistency – you could master one but one single factor wouldn’t be the only thing to pull you through, to get things done.

You’ve got to work at each one individually, bit by bit.

I know sometimes that can seem pretty annoying or cumbersome – but it’s about maintaining a balance.

The same way it’s wise for a person to avoid muscle imbalances by making sure they train all their muscles week to week, the same way it’s wise to maintain a balance approach when it comes to accomplishing what you’ve set out to do.

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You’ve got to work on each factor individually, bit by bit.

But most importantly, you’ve got to remember that consistency is what keeps it all together.

It’s what turns those incrimental, small pieces of the puzzle, into the big picture.

Consistency is crucial.

Consistency is key.

As always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 81: Consistency… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 78: Drive…

Hope everyone’s having a great week. I know, I know, I missed For The Weekenders last week. I’ve got my reasons…but I can guarantee the next one won’t disappoint.

Alright so back to the topic at hand – this week’s episodic musing. A lot of people talk about discipline, and I have too in the past, but one thing I think that should be combined with discipline is drive. Why? Let’s get started.

Musings Episode 78: Drive…

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So drive and discipline, how are they linked?

Discipline can be considered developing a habit of doing something over time, so much that you do it whether you feel like it or not.

It’s like making something so much a part of your life that it feels like the requirement of eating or sleeping – it becomes essential and necessary.

But what about drive? Well I’d say drive is what makes that discipline actually pay off.

Think about it. You can have discipline in doing something, but that doesn’t mean you have drive to push you in whatever it is you’ve disciplined yourself to do.

In other words, you may have discipline, but may not be necessarily pushing yourself to your max in whatever it is you’re doing.

You may not be doing things as good as you could be doing them.

So going back to the food analogy it’s a bit like you may have the discipline to eat on time, three meals a day, but you may lack the drive to eat properly, with foods that fuel your body and are good for your overall health.

You could be disciplined to workout everyday but not have the drive to really push yourself beyond your limits in each workout.

Or you could be disciplined to take out 10 minutes a day to learn a language, but may just be repeating the words like a parrot rather than putting together a comprehensive and progressive study programme so you can actually become conversational in a certain amount of time.

So discipline is what can make your prepared and set you up for seeing results, but drive is ultimately what determines the quality of the results you’ll get in the end of what you’re trying to accomplish short or long-term.

Drive is also what can keep your standards high.

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While discipline is the furnace, drive is the logs you keep feeding it so you can produce a high quality heat.

Imagine if you just put sticks and branches into the furnace – you’re not really going to get any significant heat, now are you?

The same goes for life. Whether it’s a workout, a university degree, a career, a language, hell, even a video game you’re trying to 100% on, you can set aside and put in the time for it everyday, but what you do during that time will determine the results you have in the future.

You’ve got to constantly be seeking to get out of your comfort zone.

Things don’t really ever get easy – instead you get stronger, smarter, better, faster, etc.

But if you don’t have the drive to do what you’re disciplining yourself to do, you won’t really get any of those results.

Instead you’re more than likely to stagnate. Get comfortable. Develop a non-productive routine (a bit like watching TV – you just veg out).

You don’t want that.

You want that fire in your belly and the flame under your bum.

You want beast mode, where people look into your eyes and see a flame so fierce they look away because they know you’re in the zone.

This may just seem like I’m talking about workouts but believe me, you can apply the same fierceness to all aspects of life.

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I go into beast mode even in writing…with some good lofi hip hop instrumental at times, of course.

So really the key here is to not just do what you’ve disciplined yourself to do, but do it exceedingly well.

Always constructively critique what you’re doing.

Always see where you can make small but significant improvements.

Think of that drive like a steam roller…you want to crush an ineffective laziness in yourself, that tries to get in your way.

Complacency can be laziness.

But I say ineffective laziness because there are two types of lazy:

1. The “do absolutely nothing and make every excuse in the book” lazy.

Or

2. The “find a better, smarter, more efficient way of doing things” lazy.

Through drive and discipline, you can actually harness your laziness to suit your needs and make learning or accomplishing things way easier.

It’s all a matter of perspective.

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Discipline yourself to set aside time for whatever it is you want to accomplish – it’ll never be time wasted.

Drive yourself to do whatever it is you want to accomplish well and with a high standard in mind.

Learn to take steps that are smart, clever, and efficient so you can maintain quality and get the results you want.

Things don’t have to be hard – if you look at them a different way.

It’s all about perspective.

Think about it…

And as always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 78: Drive… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 77: Travel…

I’m hoping everyone’s week is off to a good start. While I know I skipped For The Weekenders last week, it’ll run as usual this week…but for this episodic musing I’d like to throw some thoughts your way on something directly related to it – travel.

Let’s get started.

Musings Episode 77: Travel…

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So you’ve been reading the blog for a while now. You’ve learnt about lots of places to go, things to eat, and original things to do.

This time around I’ve really decided to start focusing on travelling abroad more though. Reason being is because I think with the sheer amount of craziness that’s been erupting in politics – xenophobia in particular – that people need to be doing a lot more of this than they currently are.

But a lot more of it with an open mind.

Every time I travel, there’s a certain trend I notice at least once during the trip.

There’s always someone else who is also travelling, but is a complete ass to the people of the country they’re travelling to.

I say this not to rant, but because there’s a certain characteristic that, like I said earlier, each individual that acts like this is missing: an open mind.

When you travel with an open mind, you get to fully experience the culture. You get to taste, feel, breathe, and drink it. It goes beyond hotels and fancy restaurants, gift shops and clothing stores.

Which brings us to the point that there are two types of travellers – the tourist, and the culture enthusiast.

You might want to consider checking if you’re the latter, because you can learn a lot more when you travel if you are.

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One’s open minded, one’s not.

What do I mean by open minded though?

Well I find the way most people travel to be rather…boring. Typical. Being a tourists usually goes like this…

You get on a plane. You check into a hotel. You stick to the touristy areas. You buy shit you don’t need. You buy more shit you don’t need. Both of which can actually be purchased at any touristy area in several countries.

You eat at the restaurants that cater to tourist the most.

You make a half assed effort at speaking the language but still really, really prefer English.

You hop on a tour bus.

You hop off a tour bus.

You stick to a guided tour.

……. 😐

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Then there’s the culture enthusiast.

You get on a plane. Sure, you check into a hotel but you do a little research, find something that not every tourist and their grandma knows about.

You explore local areas. You spend your money renting a car and checking out more areas.

You look for good restaurants off the beaten path.

You get a relatively decent grasp of the language, enough to at least be mildly conversational, and discourage using English unless absolutely necessary.

You find out what the locals like to do for fun.

You do what the locals do for fun.

You meet a few cool locals while doing what the locals like to do for fun.

You learn new things.

You avoid guided tours and tour buses like the plague.

What’s the difference between the two?

I like to think of the tourist as someone who observes from the outside – like watching a fish through a glass bowl.

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Yeah, they’re in a country, they sleep, eat, and spend money in it, but rarely do they ever actually touch the culture. Rarely do they ever relate, or even find something or someone to relate to.

While the culture enthusiast actually feels the culture.

They may not end up befriending everyone in the city or area, but they take a little bit of something away while leaving something behind, in the abstract sense.

There’s a saying:

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Engage with people from another country and you’ll come to better understand them.

When you begin to understand them more you begin to connect with them more.

When you begin to connect with them more, you begin to relate to them more.

And when you begin to relate to them more, all those walls, all those mental barriers that people put up, that politicians put up, that the media puts up…will slowly start to come down.

Travelling is more than just a good holiday.

It’s a chance to learn something.

A chance to connect with something outside of your comfort zone.

A chance to connect with people you might never get to connect with in your own space.

And when people start connecting with other people in a positive way, well some pretty epic, pretty significant changes to things, and the way you think, can happen.

Look out for Quote Wednesdays this week.

And as always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 77: Travel… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life