Musings Episode 89: Convince No One…

Sappy Sunday.

Happy.*

Happy Sunday.

Happy and Sappy Sunday?

I don’t know/care…let’s just start.

Musings Episode 89: Convince No One…

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Well….last week was exhausting.

I generally grow tired and exhausted when I’m required to engage in social contact that involves…people I don’t want to engage in social contact with.

So…when this happens, it feels like a battery that’s being drained and in desperate need of a recharge – I’m that battery.

There are also times when this happens that it feels like a battery that’s going to overload and explode – I am also that battery.

On both occasions, generally one of the exchanges that count as exhausting are whenever I’m talking to some egotistical slack-jawed junkslut – mostly in business.

Personal-life wise, I do a pretty good job of avoiding those types all together.

…and by “those types” I just mean someone up their own ass.

If you read my previous posts on ego and competition, there are a plethora of bad eggs like this in today’s time.

I’ve always been on the side of the argument that narcissism and egoism aren’t the same, and that in a world of this or that, narcissism is better than being insecure any day.

Largely because of the fact that when insecure people talk, in my experience many of them always seem to need convincing.

Convincing that they’re doing a good job.

Convincing that they’re loved.

Convincing that they’re a wonderful person.

Convincing that life doesn’t suck half as bad as they think it does.

Convincing that their friends really like them.

Convincing that their grandma (who’s been dead for like a millennium) really did love them.

They need convincing no matter how many times you may try to lift them up.

Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with a little reassurance – but there’s a fine line.

With convincing, approval likes to tag along.

That is to say, insecurity often brings along the habit of a person doing things to seek approval.

Being a “people pleaser”.

Narcissists on the other hand, are interesting in the sense that they already tell themselves everyone loves them, they’re the best thing since sliced bread, and everything they do is like the first time something really useful was invented for human kind.

Like the lightbulb.

Or condoms.

They also obsess over being the best…which in turn, often makes them push themselves to be the best.

There are narcissist that are really just insecure people masquerading as narcissist (like Trump), I think, but that’s another story for another time.

So what am I getting at here…right – convincing.

Yeah, stop doing that shit.

It’s your life.

Stop bending over backwards to try to prove yourself if you already know you’ve made something decent or are making something decent of yourself when it comes to personal development.

Oddly, in several relationships across the board it seems like people need to be convinced more and more about different things.

Are people growing more insecure?

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Take business for instance. Remember the good old days where you just swung by a company, maybe sweet talked the receptionist into getting you a spot to see the boss, or walked in regularly and asked to see the person in charge because you saw an ad in the paper?

You put in your CV/resumé, you either got seen the next day, or same day, had an informal chat, and before you knew it you were hired?

There were no 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, interviews plus one drink-the-blood-of-a-goat final 5th ritual interview, just because they needed to cross-examine to make sure they were convinced enough to hire you.

There was no portfolio you had to present, no vague requests to “prove a track record of success” without actually specifying exactly what they’re looking for.

A guy looked at your CV, had a chat with you to see if what was on your CV wasn’t bullshit, and went with his gut.

There was an unsaid trust.

This amazingly managed to do just as good of a job as what recruiters are “trained” to do (but fail ever so miserably at) when it comes to ensuring people were hired based off of their talent or skills they could bring to a company, rather than nepotism or particularism.

Or for another example, take romantic relationships.

Remember when you could just walk up to someone, apologize for interrupting, and compliment them on something you really liked about them physically?

Or maybe you’d just be in the bookstore and strike up a conversation about a book you see someone considering buying and you’ve bought it before so hey great, conversation starter.

There’d either be a positive or negative reaction, you’d maybe swap numbers (home numbers, no mobile phones then), eventually go on dates, etc.

Once you were in the relationship, texting day-to-day wasn’t necessary nor was it possible.

The person just trusted that you liked them and them only, and when you both did call to meet up again, you valued it more.

You never really had to convince one another you were into each other, because each time you both met it was like meeting each other all over again – all due to a build up of the feeling of missing one another and looking forward to seeing each other.

Friendships are the same way. I could go on and on and on but I think you’re smart enough to draw up your own examples.

Along with a culture of busyness, of victim mentality, it seems like there’s a culture of a need to be convinced, which perpetuates a cycle of a need to prove, a desire for approval.

Nobody really says “prove it to me”.

Alright so maybe some business people do, but nobody really says prove it.

What are you, 5?

They won’t ever really say it because they don’t want to sound 5.

But actions speak loud enough to send the message without words ever having to leave the mouth.

I’m very much action oriented…so maybe this irritates me more than others.

But frankly, I don’t believe in people’s words.

Ironic, right?

A writer, who writes, and writes, and writes – but doesn’t believe other people’s words.

Well, maybe it’s a little more nuanced than that.

I believe people’s words, but I watch their actions.

I don’t believe in proving, don’t believe in convincing, and don’t seek approval.

I’ll take someone’s word, trust and expect them to do the action, and leave them to it.

If they don’t I don’t really care, because I don’t attach much weight to their words first time around.

I do believe that actions speak a lot louder than words, when carried out.

Largely because of the fact that as the desire from people, of people to prove themselves, to convince other people that they are what they are, can do what they can do, feel how they feel, and need what they need, increases…it only perpetuates the issue of words becoming devoid, meaningless – lip service.

Saying whatever it is someone wants to hear makes words’ value drop to absolute zero.

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Saying whatever it is someone wants to hear increases the need for actual proof through actions to be carried out.

In people wanting others to convince them, to prove to them, whatever it is that they want proof or convincing of, it makes it harder to separate the real from the pleaser.

The true from the false.

The raw from the sugar-coated.

Which creates the theory that if people realized the weight of their words, the value of their words, they wouldn’t use them so superfluously.

They wouldn’t just spit off at the mouth.

They would think before speaking…and this would quite possibly restore value to words used.

Trust ties in with this. When a person constantly needs convincing or proof, they lack trust.

You can’t cure that.

You can’t make someone trust you.

It just has to happen.

So if you can’t make someone trust you, and they’re not willing to let themselves trust you, you can’t really convince them either.

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If you’re someone who doesn’t seek approval, this can be pretty frustrating.

So here’s the simple solution to at least clear your head.

Just say it.

Say it to the insecure types, the untrustworthy types of people you may encounter in life.

“I’m not going to convince you.”

But only say it on the basis your words carry fucking weight.

Two things can happen.

They either will disengage in conversation with you, and that’s that, or they’ll realize your lack of attempting to use a silver tongue means there is truth in what you speak.

Stop pandering to insecure people.

Catering to such a frame of mind will inevitably snowball into our downfall as human beings.

Think about it.

Stay cool…

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 89: Convince No One… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

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“I believe that every single one of us…

Musings: Quote Wednesdays…

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Just a little mid-week food for thought as a follow up from this week’s episodic musing.

Hope everyone’s having a great week.

As always…

Stay cool.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 87: Problems…

Yeah – touched on this a little a few episodic musings ago. Let’s expand a little.

Musings Episode 87: Problems…

I was talking to a friend the other day about some things, like mostly just what’s going on in the news and what not.

I usually don’t like to watch the news too frequently – it’s boring and just a shit show of different depressing things.

When I say depressing, I mean it just amplifies the chaos that I know is already going on in the world.

But then it also tends to over-exaggerate things, too.

One thing I’ve learnt from travelling is that news is told differently, in different places. Different countries.

One country may minimise a problem, the other may blow it out of proportion, yet another may not even consider it news worth reporting.

And that got me thinking – just how often do people do this in their everyday lives?

There’s a saying, “1st world problems,” usually accompanied by something like “using your smart phone to log onto your bank account only to see it has 0.16 pence in it” or something similar.

Or “1st world problems: Driving to the gym only to realise you forgot your headphones so now you can’t workout”.

There’s a lot of superficial problems floating around.

In the context of friendships, business, family, and relationships in general.

Superficial problems which people have a skilled habit of creating.

Superficial problems which are created, and while initially seemingly harmless, create larger, real problems for another party – rarely the party that ever creates them.

Why do we create so many superficial problems?

Is it because of convenience?

Of comfort?

Family “can’t” meet for the holidays because of -xyz.

Maybe it’s feeling like they all have to spend time with their new “extensions” of family, rather than making an effort to get everyone together under one roof.

So a superficial problem like that causes a real problem of family disconnect and discord.

Friends stop physically hanging out with each other because of distance.

And by distance I mean laziness of getting in the car and taking that “cumbersome 30 minute to an hour drive”.

So they opt for chatting on social media instead thinking this “nourishes” the relationship, which is nothing close to what they called just a couple of decades ago “socialising”.

A superficial problem like that causes, as the Chinese say “the tea to go cold”, or the real problem of not building a healthy, real social network of non-apathetic people that are there when you need them most.

Then people say they’re “lonely”.

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Business, work, and jobs.

Not educated enough? Underqualified.

Go to university, get an education.

Got an education? Well, that’s great but you don’t have work experience.

No work experience? Get work experience.

Have work experience and an education? Not quite enough education, get more education.

Got more education? Now it’s too much education.

You’re overqualified, ergo not eligible for the role in fear you may “find something better”.

So you try for part-time work to keep food on the table.

Nope, sorry, try again.

Can’t get it because employers don’t want you sticking around temporarily.

So a string of superficial problems like that costs a person their human security – their dignity to live and enjoy life as a respectable human being.

No food? Go grocery shopping from your smart phone – and get it delivered.

Hungry? Cook what’s in the fridge.

Don’t wanna cook? Order out.

Don’t know what to eat? Say you’re “starving” then end up snacking.

The food you bought in the fridge goes off. Then you’ve gotta throw it away.

A superficial problem like that causes a person’s nutritional profile or daily diet to go down the tube, leading to a very real problem of long-term health issues.

Or my favourite – this new “food shortage” everyone’s raving about.

It’s called over-consumption and waste, dumbass.

Convenience. Convenience and laziness. Convenience and laziness seem to be ruining the basis of human self-reliance.

Lack of self-reliance or independence causes a sense of dissatisfaction.

Have dissatisfaction? You’re not happy.

Find your happy place.

Join a yoga class.

Happiness isn’t yoga, motherfucker.

Happiness isn’t finding your zen.

It’s not meditating.

Meditating is about reaching a neutral place.

It’s not the quinoa in your fucking bowl or your morning chamomile tea.

If you have all the creature comforts and more in life, and you’re still not happy, well…

You’re not happy because somewhere…you’re disgusted with yourself.

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Disgusted because somewhere you know you’re not really pulling your weight when it comes to your existence, which is affecting other people’s existences, through creating simple, silly, superficial problems, which turn into very real problems for other people.

Happiness is in your existence. It shouldn’t take yoga, or tea, or “woosah” or any of that other bull.

You’re not happy with yourself when you’re not being a decent human being.

You’re not happy with yourself when you know you’re creating superficial problems.

Sure you may know this – it may fester and eat away at the back of your subconscious, but you’ve grown quite comfortable with ignoring it by indulging in your little world of convenience, blowing the “news” in your head out of proportion thus justifying your actions and feelings.

I’m not saying convenience is bad – I’m simply saying indulging in too much of it can cause an absolute shit storm.

Get out of your bubble.

Realise you’re not the only one that exists in this world…

…and understand that your “superficial” problems, may very well be affecting other people’s lives on a very real, and very detrimental level, because you’re too senseless to realise it.

Think about it.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 86: Problems… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 86: Give Back…

Hope everyone’s having a great weekend.

Let’s just get started.

Musings Episode 86: Give Back…

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This week’s had me thinking about some things…

Last week, I wrote about ego.

This week, I wanted to expand on that but change the tempo a little.

I managed to watch The Philadelphia Story over the weekend. A favourite of mine but something I haven’t seen in a while…and something hit me.

We live in a world where a lot’s going on right now.

Not to say that every generation hasn’t – but let’s stop sugar coating – humans on autopilot have a habit of continually reaching all time lows before redeeming themselves by remembering to be “human” again.

Generally, it’s a few shitty people that make things worse for the less shitty ones.

We’ve got the shitty ones trying to shift things right now.

When it comes to this thing called life and living it, our chosen currency is a bunch of IOUs – fiat currency.

Everyone works for it, whether you’re working for someone or having someone work for you.

Entrepreneurs put in work early so they don’t have to later, or work outside of work while still being employed.

People who work as employees that don’t choose the route of an entrepreneur put in a lot of hours to build an entrepreneur’s dream.

To the entrepreneurs reading this, let that last one sink in for a minute.

If you’ve got employees working for you, who believe in you, who give value in their work and don’t shirk their responsibilities, who don’t mind building your dream, and are perfectly content with just collecting a cheque every couple of weeks or every month, it’s important to remember that they, too, have lives.

While some may not have the balls to learn to say “no,” don’t be a douchebag and work them around the clock.

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, employees are a flock of sheep, while entrepreneurs are wolves.

Both the wolf and the sheep rely on being fed, albeit in two different ways.

But entrepreneurs whose entrepreneurial pursuits require employees on a large structured scale (like a company)…well they kind of turn into shepherds.

If you’ve got employees, or a business that isn’t automated or built off royalties, you can be one of two types of shepherds.

The one that looks at their sheep like they’re there to sustain you – by providing wool, milk, and cheese.

Or you can just look at them like they’re dispensable and ready to be slaughtered at any given time for meat.

The latter way of thinking will feed you, but only for a brief period.

While the former will feed you, clothe you, and take care of you long-term – contingent on the fact you take care of them, assuring no harm comes to them that’s not self-inflicted.

You can see where I’m going with this.

If you’re going to be an entrepreneur, don’t be a dick.

Remember to give back, while building your dream.

Because ultimately, it’s your employees that help sustain you.

If you’re an entrepreneur without employees, still remember to give back to your customers/consumers, while building your dream.

Don’t always look for people to buy what you’re selling, but remember to throw in some freebies that provide value, here and there, on a consistent basis.

I think this is important.

While I’m not religious, I will say this is kind of like a sort of tithe – not to a church, but to the people who are taking the time out to take interest in what you have to say, do, sell.

This is especially true just starting out, but also important to remember to continue when you reach the success you want.

Don’t just run around asking people to pay attention to what you have going on – take interest in them too.

Social media is ironically not very social anymore.

You’ve got more businesses running around liking other businesses’ stuff just to try to promote their own products.

It’s one of the reasons why I made my social media accounts private for some time.

It gets boring having people write asking you to promote their brand – with no consideration of reciprocation or perhaps actually liking what it is you’re doing.

The world needs more collaboration – not favour asking.

Collaboration unlocks the potential to lead to genuine engagement – not forced.

This is especially the case when it comes to business to business, but even more so when it comes to employers with their employees.

Collaborate with your employees, especially with the ones who really show good work ethic – make sure their needs are being met just as much as yours. Make sure you’re giving them work-life balance.

And when I say work ethic, I don’t mean the ones that are constantly staying at the office late or there early – that’s not work ethic, that’s just putting their life into the company.

Stop the bad habit by disallowing them to do this.

And don’t think you can compensate them by making your office more “fun”.

Outside of work they have lives too – remind them of it.

This culture of busyness has everything all screwed up.

It used to be a sign of wealth when people had time to live their lives – now it seems like he who has the least time is most successful – don’t kid yourself.

You’re robbing yourself of life when you do this if you’re an employee, and you’re robbing your employees of their lives when you make them do this if you’re an employer.

Employees have to start recognising their value, and employers have to start respecting that value.

One more important thing.

If you’re an entrepreneur and you see you have employees who are entrepreneurial minded like yourself, don’t covet them; don’t hold them back; don’t refuse to hire them; and don’t fire them, if you see that one day they’ll leave your company.

As long as a currency system exists, everyone needs money.

Give them a chance to build their life, the way they want to, just as someone gave you a chance.

And when someone’s ready to leave your employment, let them, without malice or hatred – in the words of Enchiridion, we own nothing – and especially no one – in this world.

Appreciate the value they’ve provided you, then when they feel it’s their time to grow as a person, let them, and wish them well when they move on.

Give back.

Give back to your customers, your employees, your business partners you ask to collaborate with you.

The same can be applied outside the context of business.

Give back – to your friends, your family, the stranger that holds the door open for you, the person that says thanks, and the cashier that smiles and says hello when you go for groceries.

Don’t let your ego take over.

Give back by not being a dick – give back by being a decent human being.

As always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 86: Give Back… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 85: Ego…

Hope everyone’s had a great weekend.

Let’s just get right to it.

Musings Episode 85: Ego…

You’ll remember last week’s post where I talked about running in place, the two different sources of dissatisfaction, and a few other things.

You’ll also probably remember what I talked about the week before last, about guts over fear, and if you really want to do something, to just do it.

I think both of those topics have to do with concrete things.

But there’s something else that ties in with what people do in every day life, why they do it and how.

Come to think of it – it also ties in with what people don’t do in every day life, and why they don’t do it as well.

Ego.

There’s two key players in our brains – logic and creativity.

Some may argue that the two are separate, because they’re opposites. Logic is left brained while creativity dominates the right. The same could be said about emotion.

True, but while emotion and creativity are different from logic, they still support each other in certain functions.

Logic allows us to execute a systematic and structured plan of action to carry out our creative thoughts.

Picking up the paint brush, holding it a certain way, mixing certain colours, dry time of the canvas, layering, etc, etc. The same goes for photography.

Logic can also allow us to step away from an emotional situation and take an objective look at why that emotion is being felt in that situation.

Creativity can allow us to create something useful, something functional, with aesthetic appeal, or a “fun” element to it.

Emotion allows us to put the human back into humanity when logic fails to acknowledge when emotion is needed to maintain rationality, and vice versa.

So if logic and emotion, or logic and creativity can be interdependent on each other, lend to each other, and at the same time can be considered vastly different qualities that can be separated from each other, why then, don’t people apply this to a fundamental part of their lives – their careers?

What about their relationshipsPersonal development?

I could go on, but the point I’m trying to make here is, in today’s society it’s important to remember that you’re not what you do.

You’re not your job.

You’re not your job title.

You’re not your role in your relationship.

You’re not the car you buy.

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You’re you.

While it’s great to have all that, remember who and what you are, without all of it.

You’re this living, breathing organism, that like a Final Fantasy (RPG) game character just keeps leveling up – maybe getting a new weapon here, or some new armour there, or some new skills here, or better health there, or new party members here, and so on and so on.

You gain the weapons and the armor from money earned at each battle, but you gain the better health, skills, and other things from experience points.

You’re a living being that (hopefully) progressively changes as you gain experience with new, different, experiences, constantly getting to know yourself better.

Experiences and situations are accessories that you choose to take on or confront in your life.

So why not separate yourself from all that other stuff – the job, the car, the house, the relationship?

Ego.

Ego is a very abstract thing. Logically you can’t define it, it’s pretty difficult to pin down.

Fuck what religion, or spirituality, or all of that stuff says.

I think those types of things can still taint or manipulate the message of what ego really is for their own benefit, which I’ll explain towards the end of this.

I’m not saying I have a perfect definition for it either, but I will say this: people today, not that they haven’t been before, but even more so today, with the advancements of technology, and the comfort of convenience, which has ultimately lead to a false perception of self-reliance, are running wild with their egos.

Your ego tells you you are your job.

Your job title.

Your ego tells you you are the only person in the household who gets things done.

Your ego tells you you are lower, middle, upper, and elite class.

Hell, society tells you you’re all that too.

Society tells you if you drive this car you’re this. If you wear this, you’re that. If you live in this neigbourhood, you’re this.

Society also has a tendency to try and dictate to you what you aren’t, as well.

It goes both ways, too.

While people who identify themselves as rich may assume someone who doesn’t drive a Bentley isn’t financially savvy or educated, people who identify as poor may look at someone who’s educated or well off as being “soft,” never having experienced hardship.

Society itself, is a collection of egos, communicating to other egos – your ego.

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Attempting to tell you what you should have, what you shouldn’t, what you do deserve, what you don’t, what you have done, what you haven’t, what you have been through, what you haven’t, what you should be watching, doing, saying, BEING.

The most popular stuff is shoved in front of your face everyday on Facebook, Netflix, Instagram, cable TV, Twitter, the news, shop windows, magazines, movies, on and on and on and on…

But if you strip all the “accessories” away, what are you?

Who are you?

Do you really know what you like?

What you want?

What you want to do?

What you’ve done?

Without anybody telling you, have you made these decisions yourself?

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again.

What you do, is not who you are. What you’ve done is simply a history, a timeline, of how far you’ve realised your own potential and pushed your own limits.

Mediocrity never was, and never should be an intended destiny for a species as intelligent as the human race.

Your only competition is the version of yourself you were yesterday – so don’t let others measure you with their own limiting beliefs – know your worth.

We have free will. Free will to do or to not do something. Free will to cooperate with each other.

People’s egos run wild when they try to do this to other people.

Telling them WHAT they are, rather than asking.

Telling them WHERE they should be, rather than letting them just…be.

Acting like they’re helping someone, only to gain mileage for themselves later.

Trying to hold someone back when they see them positively progressing forward, because they’re not happy with their own progress.

That’s ego.

I’m not this blog.

Not the places I’ve been.

Not the work I’ve done.

Nor the entreprenurial pursuits.

Not the photos I’ve taken.

Not the people I’ve dated.

Nor the friends I have.

I’ve enjoyed all those things and still do – but they’re great additions to my life – they’re not me.

I’m a living, breathing, organism, who’s amassed knowledge, feelings, experience, and an understanding of myself from things I’ve chosen to turn my attention to.

I’m just one big makeup of energy, choosing to expend myself on whatever I feel is right on a day-to-day basis, and recharging at night.

The same way I don’t let just anybody drive my car, I don’t let just anything drain my energy – or time.

I prefer to expend energy into things that’ll exchange that same positive energy.

But this is the important part.

I’m not talking about this bullshit, “you are what you think about most, always go around being nice to people” stuff.

Because this is what most people leave out:

There are a shit ton of people out there who can “act” nice to each other.

It doesn’t mean they’re genuine.

It doesn’t mean they want to see you do good – or even better than them, for that matter.

Will said something very interesting along the lines of this a while ago, have a listen:

Who are the people that are fanning your flames?

A post shared by Will Smith (@willsmith) on

But what people have to realise is, no one is doing better than anyone else.

You’re just doing you. If you weren’t in their life, what would they have to measure themselves with? Someone else? What if no one was in their life?

You can’t possibly be “doing better” than anyone else, if everyone has their own personal goals and milestones.

So what do you care if you help someone out when they’re earnestly looking to become a better version of themselves?

You’re not what you do, but you’re not alone.

Cooperation is vital to human survival. Cooperation is just an exchange of good energies.

So check your ego at the door.

Have a sense of who you are at your core.

Don’t be a dick.

Be cordial (be nice).

Be genuine.

Lift up the people you call your friends, family, lovers, and others who are looking to do a little good in the world.

Look for others who do the same.

And don’t fuck with people who do any of the negative stuff you just read about.

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Photo by Thong Vo on Unsplash

As always…

Stay Awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 85: Ego… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 84: Running in Place…

Happy Sunday.

Hope everyone’s having a great weekend.

No fancy intro needed here today – let’s just jump right in.

Musings Episode 84: Running in Place…

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You’ll remember last week’s episodic musing where I talked about having guts over fear and just getting whatever it is you want to move forward with or start done.

Reason being is because it’s better to start something than to just entertain the thought and never start at all.

Some of you may already be doing this, and that’s good.

Others may still be on the fence.

There’s two types of running in place. I think one of them is more frustrating than the other, but they can both be a thorn in one’s side.

The first, is keeping everything in your life the same.

Living “one day in seventy years,” my great uncle used to say.

This is how most people are.

You have a job, a routine. You wake up, get ready for work, grab a quick breakfast, go to work, have a drink with friends, come back home, watch TV, go to bed, wash, rinse, repeat.

Some have families and do a similar cycle.

I call this the hamster wheel, or rat race type running in place.

You complain, but never get annoyed enough to slip out of your comfort zone and make change.

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Photo Credit: Philip Haynes

Then you have the second type of running in place.

Or perhaps, it’s a perceived running in place.

The kind where you’ve already started towards something you want to get accomplished, but it feels like you’re going nowhere.

Maybe this is self-perceived. Maybe you’re your own worst critic.

You get a lot accomplished, cover a lot of road, but somehow, at least in your mind, things feel stuck. The speedometer is stuck on slow and no matter how hard you press your foot to the pedal the damn thing won’t go any faster.

You have a schedule, unlike a routine, and things change and progress from day to day, but it never seems to move fast enough.

There’s a similarity with both.

I think this is the side of entrepreneurship that no one really does a hard sell on.

The side most would rather have you not know about.

The side you’ve got to deal with after the motivation and excitement have long passed.

When you’re working a business, there’ll be times you never really feel satisfied with what you’re doing – in the sense that you never really feel satisfied with what you’re accomplishing.

People may feel the same way when it comes to a job, but there’s a difference.

The similarities in the two are just purely the dissatisfaction.

But the key difference is the source of dissatisfaction.

In the context of a job, someone could be dissatisfied with their pay, their boss, their work hours, or the higher ups not taking notice of their work.

In the context of a business, someone could be dissatisfied with the effort they’re putting in, their oversight on an idea they come up with later, their inability to turn into Superman and work around the clock with zero sleep.

I think the former is a dissatisfaction that centers around other people and their approval of a person.

While the latter is a dissatisfaction that centers around yourself and your approval of yourself.

There’s a certain drive that separates entrepreneurs from desk jockeys. Something that separates entrepreneurs from the pack.

Management in companies want this drive in each and everyone of their employees.

The job advert that screams “we want entrepreneurial minded people! Driven people! Motivated people!”

Yet they fail to realise that in the context of a company, that’s a double edged sword.

You’ll have people that have drive, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be submissive and obedient.

You can’t have someone driven and submissive. They’re opposite qualities.

 

It’s where sayings like “sheep get slaughtered and wolves eat” come from.

You may get certain people that are sheep masquerading as wolves, but it only lasts for so long – until they’re willing to crush someone else’s throat to appease their “boss,” in hopes of climbing the corporate ladder.

So really, their sheep masquerading as wolves, but really coyotes in their nature.

When you come across a real wolf, you’re really just playing with fire.

Both types, sheep and wolves, have hopes and dreams. Both start out as motivated and driven. Both take different paths when it comes to progression.

It’s only one that’s easy to control with smoke screens and carrot on a stick incentives.

The feeling of running in place may happen with both, but here’s a message to the entrepreneur:

You’re building your dream. Not some manager’s. Not an executive board’s. Not a company’s. Yours.

Learn to be objective with yourself. Take a step back and look at the progress you’ve made. Use timelines if you have to.

By doing this you’ll realise just how much you’ve moved forward – and if you haven’t moved forward, well then you’ll realise just how much more you should be putting in.

It’s a weird thing to have to deal with. Businesses are like a watched pot. It never boils until you take your eyes off it and step away.

Then sometimes you come back and realise it’s boiling over or you’ve let all the water boil out.

There’s a delicate balance to be maintained.

Step away, then come back.

When you’re in a car, going 90 mph doesn’t seem like a lot.

But when you’re watching from the side of the track, that same car going 90 mph seems like it’s zooming past you.

Learn to be in the driver’s seat and on the sidelines sometimes.

It’ll make things feel a lot less like you’re running in place.

As always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 84: Running in Place… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 82: Options…

Hope everyone’s week is off to a great start. I remember talking to someone about options that a person has in every aspect of their life a while back…which pretty much inspired this week’s episodic musing. Let’s get started.

Musings Episode 82: Options

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I’d say in today’s time we live in a world of choice – lots of it. Largely on a consumer level, but on other levels too. There’s so many different forms of education, career choices, leisure time options, and ways of getting out and socialising that you’ll have people say the amount of options is overwhelming.

I’d say that’s bull.

Then, there are some who may feel like they don’t have any options.

That’s also bull.

True, there are an abundance of options out there, but if you’ve got focus, the options available hardly seem overwhelming and if anything, you can easily filter out the fluff.

When you think about it, the amount of options you have can actually help you have a better understanding of what it is you want out of life, in all aspects of life. Even feeling like you have no options at some point in life can force you to realise the options you do have, if you stay calm and think.

This is where focus comes in. The main thing is to use that focus to stay on track with whatever it is you want to accomplish.

Filtering is easy, but staying on track can sometimes be tricky – largely because it relies on consistency. As an entrepreneurial minded person I can attest to this.

I could have a number of ideas pop up in my head a week that seem like great business ideas. Where it gets tricky is staying consistent – sometimes it’s tempting to move on all of them at one time rather than planning things out methodically, or knocking out one at a time.

Thinking of so many ideas can open you up to so many options, even outside the entrepreneurial realm.

And having options means having access to different tools that can help you move any part of your life forward.

Knowledge creates options, and options are kind of like guide books that teach you which way you can use the tools you’ve uncovered through assessing your options.

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If you’re from my generation, maybe you were taught that you could be anything when you were younger – and maybe you were taught to pick a safe career option as you got older.

This was always a confusing trend of thought to me. You’re told you can be anything (including Spider-Man) when you’re younger – but as you get older, family/society tells you to “think about your future” and “pick a safe career choice”? Something like a lawyer, doctor, etc?

Forget wanting to be top athlete or pro skateboarder, and opt for a nice, quiet office job?

While I know the above “safe” options can in theory of course be smart (and sometimes recession proof), it’s the line of thinking that’s a contradiction.

I mean I can see where (most) parents are coming from – they want their kids to have stability, not lack for anything, and a financially stress-free life so they can actually enjoy the years that pass by.

But I think always opting for the safe option can be self-sabotaging.

This is where I think a hybrid approach works best.

There’s some partial truth that there are obvious benefits to choosing a “safe” career – but only if you know what type of benefits you’re talking about.

I think if a person feels more comfortable going with a safe option – with anything in life – it’s better to only use it as a tool to get where you really want to go – to enable you to do what you really want to do.

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In the context of business, picking a safe option really just means picking an option that gives you a steady source of cash flow over the required length of time it’s needed.

But it’s what you do with that cash flow that matters.

One thing I’ve learnt about being an entrepreneur – if you want to move anything forward, even outside of business, most of the time it takes cash flow, and time.

This can be with a hobby, travelling, a relationship, anything.

I really don’t get why people try and separate money from the equation when it comes to a lot of things they do in life.

If you want to learn how to play guitar, you’ve gotta first buy the guitar.

If you want to pursue a relationship, you’ve still gotta have the cash to meet up with the person – whether you’re driving or using public transportation. Even if you’re walking, if you wanna go and grab a bite (or make a bite to eat) it still takes cash.

Hell, even if you want to get in better shape you’ve gotta have the cash to eat properly.

There’s an interesting quote I’m fond of…

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Now this blog post isn’t to talk about money – but I can say that money, like knowledge, can give you more options.

And I can say that it’s important to realise that everyone, and I do mean everyone, has options.

The main thing is, you’ve got to pick what options are right for YOU.

Only you.

Nobody else can or should feel like they can dictate to you what your options are. It’s your life, you’ve got to live it, and you’ve got to deal with the results that the options you pick give you.

At the end of the day, you’ve got to do what feels right for you.

Choose your options wisely. Choose how to use your tools wisely.

Just for fun I’m gonna leave you with one of my favourite songs this year:

As always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 82: Options… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life