Musings Episode 74: Do You Deserve It…?

So I’m hoping everyone had an epic weekend. There are some thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head since the last episodic musing, in particular thoughts that revolve around what people define as being deserving of things.

You look on social media, and you listen to conversationswatch movies, listen to lyrics in songs…and I’ve realised something’s popping up more and more that I don’t entirely agree with. Alright here goes…

Musings Episode 74: Do You Deserve It?

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It seems that people are starting to think it’s alright to gauge and dictate to other people whether they deserve something or not.

Now I mentioned in the previous episodic musing that when it comes to free will, no one has the right to really dictate to anyone what they should get out of life – Epictetus made this clear, and to paraphrase him once more, attempting to control or dictate another person’s free will takes tremendous effort as it goes against the natural law of things; things which are in our control, and things which are out of our control.

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As a side note, if you haven’t read Epictectus’ “Enchiridion” – it’s basically a summarised version, a “manual” of his teaching of Stoicism – I highly recommend you pick it up from Amazon.

Seriously it cost less than coffee if you get the Dover Thrift Edition. Buy it.

Getting back to the subject, I saw something interesting the other day on Instagram. I didn’t screenshot it as it made me so disgusted it wasn’t worth a save in my phone, but ironically it pissed me off so bad I remember it clearly; so I’ll tell you what is said.

“Those who think they deserve it the most, usually don’t.”

…..Seriously?

What’s interesting is I’ve heard this once or twice in some songs I’ve stumbled across when discovering new music, and group conversations I’ve been involved in in the past.

And I wholeheartedly disagree with this.

Fair enough, there are some people who don’t put in any work for something they want; and there are people who are given everything they want without putting in any work, ergo feeling they deserve whatever they want.

But there are also those out there who bust their ass everyday – for months, years – grinding and meet rejection after rejection and know they deserve what they want.

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And when I see people who state that people who think they deserve something don’t, it really gets under my skin, because when you think about it…it’s not a bold statement – it’s assumptive and asinine, a dash of ignorance, and just a sprinkle of arrogant.

When you take your attention away from mainstream – mainstream TV, movies, music, books, websites, everything…you begin to think about things differently…and when you think about it successful mainstream people don’t really elaborate on what their way up was like – not in a raw, real feel sense.

I’ve been listening to some less well-known music artists on YouTube lately when I get a chance and I’ve gotta say, some of their lyrics hit me like a brick wall.

They don’t talk about women, drugs, cars, sex, pumped up violence, all the regular bunk you hear on mainstream artists’ songs; but they talk about real things no one else wants to really discuss – things other artists probably know won’t sell as well:

Witt Lowry – The Ride

Ollie – Product

Witt Lowry – Dreaming With Our Eyes Open

And listening to the lyrics makes you realise, that the only person who has a right to ask you if you deserve it – if you deserve what you want – is you.

If you’re out there making the effort, changing your game plan when some things don’t work, learning new stuff to make other things work, and not losing sight of what it is you want – if what you want has substance – no one has a right to tell you that if you think you deserve it the most, you probably don’t.

That’s just bull.

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And anyone who has the audacity to make such a statement in my opinion is somebody who is consciously making an incompetent statement, has never even entertained the thought about considering what it’s like to walk in someone’s shoes, or simply thinks there’s not enough caviar to go around.

Having the gall enough to even make that statement, shows that someone is already spoilt rotten with a complete disregard for humanity.

Because there are three main paths that people who go after what they want and think they deserve end up taking:

The path of attaining what they deserve.
The path of settling for less than what they deserve (read: the path of becoming complacent).
The path of giving up on the FEELING of deserving what they’ve put effort into attaining (read: the path of becoming insecure).

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At the end of the day it’s YOU who knows what efforts your putting in. It’s YOU who knows how much time you’ve put into going after your milestones. It’s YOU who knows what you’ve been through, what you’re going through, and where you want to go.

Don’t let anyone ever dictate that to you.

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Because this deserves reiteration.

This is for the millennials, the 90s and the 80s kids.

You may not have the job security, the house, the car, the holidays, the balanced salary to living expense ratio, the opportunities your parents had when they were younger, you may not have all of that JUST YET

…and it may seem a little harder to acquire those things in today’s time…

…and well shit, it is, with the way multinationals are making application processes for people increasingly unnecessarily long and complex…

…bending people over and trying to get them to take it up the @ss with no lube, by offering far-less-than square deals…

….essentially looking at humans as actual resources, rather than people.

Funny thing is while others are trying to dictate to you whether or not you deserve something, if we stripped away modern civilisation and tried our hand at something like growing a garden, there is a higher and near concrete chance nature itself would effortlessly allow us to reap the harvest of the effort we put in, compared to some people these days.

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Notice how the term “personnel department” changed to “human resources”? Yeah. Worse thing to ever happen…

…but one thing you do have is willpower, and the right to believe in yourself.

If you’re putting in the effort; getting those top grades in university; doing the daily grind as entrepreneur; or making an effort to make your salary work for you, for something you want that’s bigger than you, bigger than the life you have now; no one but YOU, has the right to ask…

“Do you deserve it?”

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Hope everyone has a great week, and don’t forget to check back for Quote Wednesdays.

As always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 74: Do You Deserve It…? is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 60: Cognitive Empathy…

It’s been a pretty rough day for me. Last week I was wavering on this week’s episodic musing, whether or not it’d be too negative or if I should keep things light – but I think it’s best to go ahead as planned and write what I really wanna write about.

Empathy. It’s something that’s made up of many factors – but it’s also something that’s commonly misunderstood in the sense of its own meaning.

I wanna write about that…raw, unedited. Just pure, straight forward thoughts.

Musings Episode 60: Cognitive Empathy

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Empathy is one of those things that people usually peg up against sympathy, trying to figure out where the dividing line or clear cut differences are.

It’s one of those things people don’t really exercise, unless they’re consciously aware – both of themselves and their fellow man.

It’s one of those things that has a lot to do with cooperation.

There’s two major types of empathy – emotional and cognitive. While the latter is pretty cut and dry – being able to emotionally understand where a person is coming from – the latter not many people know how to exercise.

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Emotion is easy – it’s something that can change like the ocean’s tide. It’s where the fight or flight mechanism kicks in, and where people can cry when they hear something that pulls at their heart strings.

But cognitive behaviour – when applied to empathy – is a whole different ball game. Cognitive empathy, is when a person actively takes the steps to imagine themselves in the confiding person’s EXACT situation. Not just imagine casually either – but to the point where they actually FEEL that person’s feelings, and understand that person’s thought process.

It’s a task within itself – but only if one isn’t used to doing it.

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I’m a relatively serious person. Easy to get along with. Straight shooter. Don’t take bullshit.

A lot of people say I don’t always smile enough – but that’s okay…because at least when I DO smile at someone, they know it’s genuine.

Now although I may look serious – I’ve got a pretty big heart – that I keep behind a pretty big door. You’ve gotta knock to be let in.

But one thing I have learned, is understanding people.

Understanding situations – looking at both sides of the story.

One thing I HAVE learned is that empathy, is both directly and intricately linked with compassion.

Compassion and empathy are two different things – but compassion can’t really be exercised without empathy, first.

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The main difference between empathy and compassion is, in empathy while someone puts themselves into the frame of mind emotionally and imaginatively, COMPASSION is what makes them actively seek helping the other person to find a solution, even if it means being a part of that solution.

Empathy is the beginning of relating to another human being.

Empathy is the beginning of taking the time out to sit down and listen to your fellow man.

Empathy is the beginning of UNDERSTANDING, your fellow man.

Compassion is what humanity must learn – and the focal point, the true starting point to understanding how to exercise compassion? Will be explained in tomorrow’s Make it Mondays post…

Hope everyone’s had a great weekend.

As always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 60: Cognitive Empathy… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

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