Musings: Quote Wednesdays…
“The least movement is of importance to all nature. The entire ocean is affected by a pebble.” – Blaise Pascal
Pretty much ties in with my most recent post, “Musings Episode 18: Appreciation“….everything, affects everything – so appreciate more and watch things change. Watch your thinking change. Watch yourself change. If we think like this, on a micro level – humans will begin to act a lot differently.
This week has been pretty crazy. Crazy as in busy – the good kind…I’ve been working on a treatment for a screenplay I’ve had for a while now, and in working on it I came to think of a few things.
Gratitude…no – appreciation. Appreciation for one. Why…?
Looking back on the years gone by, I’ve been able to accomplish a lot that many people wait a lifetime to do. I’ve gained a lot of skills, seen a lot of places, done a lot of things, and have had my fair share of ups and downs. The latter has always been a learning experience, and everything else an adventure as well as an education.
If I had to go back and change anything – I don’t think I would. Sure, there was the occasional foolishness – but even that I don’t think I would change. So for this episode I’d really like to discuss appreciation and seeing the bigger picture in life.
As humans we’ve all come from different backgrounds and experienced different things, learned different ideologies and adopted new ones. We’re constantly evolving and while the evolutionary process may decline, it will never stop.
It’s in our blood. Everyday, one way or another, person to person does actions that lead to different “story lines”. We feel change – in our bodies, our minds…we feel it at our very fingertips.
Without change there would never be progression – stagnation is the mother of all failures. Continuing to move forward is the way to go – and whether we decide to or not, it happens without our will. One way or another it happens. As effortless as a blade of grass or the hair on our head grows, so too does change happen.
The key is finding appreciation in the change and seeking to be proactive at every chance. I’ve come across so many people over the years that wander through life aimlessly, without thought of how much they have to appreciate – and with a little effort how much more they could appreciate and be grateful for.
The main key in appreciation is never taking anything for granted. In doing travel photography and other mobile business ventures, I’ve lived in many well off countries, including one of the five richest countries in the world (Bermuda) – to the not so well off countries, where I’ve seen people live in poverty (Thailand). Conscienably when living in the latter, I couldn’t bring myself to stay there.
Doing photography in Thailand was one of the hardest things – to see a house of grandeur directly opposite a house made with a bare tin roof and poorly assembled wooden structure never settled well with me. My entire stay I struggled with taking my camera into my hands and doing a shoot. The people were great – I did it – but with difficulty…the shots came out well, but I still felt odd…
On the flip side, it made me appreciate more of what I had. In travelling I’ve also learned to be a minimalist. My desire for the biggest has declined over the years – and instead I seek things like location, styling, energy, “zen”, atmosphere, things to do, etc. Don’t get me wrong – I live quite comfortably and am not at all a fan of these new micro accommodations that have been popping up…yet I’m still a minimalist in many other facets.
I’m not really one to collect a lot of furniture – no…cluttered place cluttered mind. I prefer open floor plans. If I chose to get up and leave to travel non-stop for a full year – I could easily do so at the drop of a hat without having to worry about so many “things”…sure, I would still miss my place…
…because I appreciate it. From running my fingers along the walls to sitting for hours late at night with nothing but a glass of wine in one hand and the sound of music, while looking out from my balcony’s view, I appreciate every detail and even imperfection.
For a while I was in a “wandering” phase…not necessarily a negative thing, in fact it was a good thing…but for a while that “wandering” phase had me restless. Sleepless nights and the feeling of always needing to just GO. Do something, see some place, be somewhere, a wanderlust, you could say.
It was a bittersweet point in my life, being a perfectionist, I felt as if it was all I wanted yet not enough. Never enough. Then slowly, that changed. My thinking changed. Don’t get me wrong – I still have a tremendous desire to shoot for the stars and then some – but it’s no longer a gnawing, never-satisfied type desire. I still always want more – just in an entirely different sense.
I’m no longer as hard on myself as I used to be. I think of life more as a joke now. The present as a gift. There’s no tomorrow – because by the time tomorrow rolls around, it’s today. So I’ve learned to just keep moving forward – the only way the tomorrow a person wants doesn’t roll around is because they didn’t take the action now to make it happen.
I appreciate my proactivity – I suggest a person always appreciate any steps they take towards something – no matter how small. I appreciate everything from the cars I’ve driven, places lived, people met, clothing worn, places been, experiences had, determination felt, and things learnt.
So you’re probably wondering when I’m going to get to the point – exactly how should you show appreciation for everything in your life…? It’s quite simple really…and at times can be quite difficult to grasp, if you don’t keep your eye on the ball.
Appreciation is one of those things taken for granted. Many people never sit to stop and think of all the great things they have going on in their lives – the most basic example can be a cell phone. Sounds funny I know but, hear me out (no pun intended).
Before cell phones…there were two ways to get in contact with each other – I touched on this briefly in my “Musings Episode 14: Friends for Friends…or Friends for Money…?” – there was getting a phone call at home or calling someone on a payphone – or meeting up with them to talk. People don’t realize the ease and access they’ve been given today – but it’s used in the wrong way. At times, cell phones can cause a social disconnect….
…and this isn’t old fashioned thinking – this is really concept I want you to grasp. Let’s go for another example. Computers. Skype. Vonage. International Texting Plans. Me keeping in contact with the people I’ve met all over the world, with this technology, has been the most beneficial and amazing thing ever.
Before all this – it was pen pals. Waiting for weeks for a response back. Eagerly checking the mail. Day in…day out. The wait was longer but anticipation greater – we yearned for it. We appreciated it. Now, with this type of technology making things such as keeping in contact with a good friend more than 6000 miles away possible – let’s appreciate it more.
You get the general idea. The thought of appreciation can be applied to anything – food we eat, places we have accessability to shop at, entertainment venues we have to go to, sports we have to participate in – from a football/soccerball to a snowboard. Inventions.
Inventions fueled from creativity.
Creativity fueled from imagination.
Imagination kept alive from thinking on what already exists and how to make it better. Cooler. More enjoyable. The list goes on.
Appreciation is a state of mind. A feeling. A review of collective memories and thoughts. Mostly memories – it’s from looking back and looking currently at what we have, what we’ve done, what we’ve seen, where we’ve gone, who we’ve met….that we get that warm, fuzzy, comfortable feeling inside.
Appreciate the little things.
The big things.
The seemingly insignificant things.
…and everything in between.
Try it everyday – and realize how much you actually have. If it doesn’t seem like enough – push for more – if it seems like too much – say thank you…and don’t lose your head – stay cool.
I know I’m late in posting this – but to everyone who takes the time out to read my musings, my weekend posts, and my quotes – I appreciate you all…and when I write every post, I like to make sure there’s effort, and thought put into it – to where you can relate. Quality is key in my world – not quantity. Seriously.
Stay awesome and look out for my upcoming “For The Weekenders” post, this Saturday night.
Weekends. Enjoying yourself. Experiences. Spending time with chill people. Connecting with cool people. Building memories with good people. Seeing great places. Eating great food. Doing epic things.
Before we begin though – I’d just like to say I know I’m a bit late in posting this – but I have good reason. A friend’s birthday is this weekend, and it got me thinking about how important not just venue, but clothing and style are.
…because really, when you recall memories and your mind paints mental pictures, things like what was said, where you hung out, what everyone wore – all of that is reproduced in your mind’s eye, and aids in making a memory that much more vivid.
Bit of background on my friend…she’s narcissistic – with good reason. Genuine – with a bit of bitchiness. Dresses well…with anyone style reflects personality. Indecisive as hell – which with enough effort can easily be remedied. All this got me thinking:
A lot of factors make a person…a lot of factors make a place…and a lot of factors make a great weekend. So instead of just discovering and sharing with you all great things to do – why not write about the small (but significant) details that amplify all those great days/nights out?
A lot makes for a good time out…and in my opinion, the next, most important thing that make good times even more enjoyable, are great clothing. Nothing, and I do mean nothing beats going out, looking good, feeling comfortable, and knowing you look good.
Which is why for this “For The Weekenders post”, I present to you three shops, that will blow your mind, fit your style, change your mood, and make you look like the next [insert famous person’s name here] – given you’ve been keeping at going to the gym at a decent rate 😉
Let’s start you off with the most important thing, and what I recently mentioned in Musings Episode 17, shoes.
One of the most important things in a good weekend wardrobe are shoes…think about it – you work your ass off, in some way shape or form, in your business or your job. You’re in work mode. Serious mode. Let’s get down to business mode. Suddenly, you get a text from a friend – “8:30. Drinks. Boardwalk. Be There.”
From here you’re thinking to yourself “holy shit I am too tired to walk all the way from parking to a bar. All I wanna do is kick off my shoes and relax.”
Have no fear, compadre, Rancourt & Co. is here. While shopping in your standard shoe store may be great for the masses and all – you, are the elite, and deserve to be treated so….the guys at Rancourt & Co. can make it happen.
I’m talking handmade, made to order shoes and boots. The quality is amazing, unmistakably the best to be found. Every shoe has meticulous care and thought put into it…meaning every time you lace up, or slide on, there’ll be that little thought that “Hey – these were made for you. Noone else, champ.”
So go ahead – slip into a pair of these – where you get fully lined, genuine Horween shell Cordovan…supple leather midsoles….antique brass eyelets that would make any hipster jealous – and elegantly braided waxed cotton laces….and just watch how the complaints swimming around in your head are replaced by the compliments made by a dozen or so people.
Straight out of Maine, these shoe makers are the real deal…oh, and they don’t just do guys shoes either, but have a line of women’s shoes as well…so no one’s left out in the cold. Everyone should have their own shoemaker.
So you’ve got the shoes sorted, but now you’re asking “well Rego, the shoes are great and all, but what exactly goes with them?”…..Well, I know this post is mostly about custom fitted, tailored items – but I’m going to make a single exception to the rule, and introduce you to a shop located conveniently at The Shops of Miami.
Hold on – before we go further – I want you to know this is more than just a shop…but an ensemble of choice casual/smart casual attire. Though everything may not be made to order, the quality is well worth it if you’re serious about investing in your wardrobe…and yourself. So if you wanna be the best dressed and feel like a million dollars, you’ve gotta check them out.
Which brings us to Supply & Advise. Imagine a shop where you could go crazy coming up with your own style – mixing and matching until you’ve created that look that everyone knows is just…you. Supply & Advise helps you with that, plain and simple.
They have an excellent line of clothing for gentlemen – so guys, now is your time to stop looking like badly dressed douchebags with hats backwards from the early 2000s, step up to the plate, and deliver looking like someone who commands respect.
Unfortunately, there’s a very limited selection for the ladies – unless you’re up for going Ralph Lauren 2012 (or was it 2011?) and throwing in a bit of the boy’s to give you that edgy, sexy/sporty look – then Supply & Advise can deliver on that, too.
Their clothing are great for those nights out with friends, or even a date. Modern yet classic, original and brilliant when it comes to color selection…nothing’s more attractive and eye-catching than proper fit, well coordinated colors, and an accessory that’s a guaranteed conversation starter (which they have, too).
Dress. For. Success. Anytime, every time, everywhere.
However, let’s say you wanna stick to hand made, tailored items and the joy of sitting in a boutique picking from a huge selection of fabric swatches while sipping on gin (Alabama Fizz, please).
Well, anything’s possible and all of the above are the standard over at Noble Experiment on W 51st Street in Miami Beach.
Located in Mark’s Quality Cleaners, these guys are the epitome of their name.
Though I say guys, what I really mean is their legend of a tailor(ess?) Ashley who can and will aid you in picking the right fabric, style, and colors to make you look your best.
But wait – while they have availability for the off-the-rack clothing as well – if you want something custom made you can’t just walk in there and snap your fingers. A) you’d need a reservation, and B) you’d probably just get slapped.
Once the reservation is made though, you can then proceed on your scheduled date and time to meet with the tailors, who will take your measurements, which they document and store for any future purchases (or should I say…projects 😉 )
So when you get eyed by that 10 at the bar, or you’re out and about on that weekend in The Keys, you can be sure to look your best and have people asking, “I love that shirt/blazer/jacket/etc…where did you get it?”…to which you’ll just let a slow, warm smile spread across your face and the response “oh, you know, around here.” utter from your lips with a mixed tone of humbleness and confidence.
Have a great weekend – and remember, dressing great for yourself, is one of many steps to a better you. 😉
Musings: Quote Wednesdays…
“The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost
Touching a little bit on last week’s quote, this week’s runs along the same line. Sometimes, the best way to deal with things, instead of going around them by avoiding them – is just facing them head on – but always, always, think smart, and not hard. 😉
Words in my opinion are extraordinarily superfluous. They’re not really how we as humans communicate. It’s been said that 93% of our communication is non-verbal – 38% being vocal (i.e. tone), 55% physical (gestures, facial expressions, posture, eye contact), and only 7% being words to make 100% (check out Dr. Albert Mehrabian‘s book, Silent Messages).
This got me thinking….if the majority of what we say is how we come across physically and tonally – how often is it that people really pay attention to their day-to-day habits?
…and even if people are self-conscious of the way they talk and act – do they really realize how they’re coming across…? I touched on this briefly in both Musings Episode 14 and 16, and thought I’d elaborate a bit further.
There’s a vast difference I’ve come to realize since living in both the Western world and the Pacific Rim. One thing specifically still stands out in my mind today – and was something I absolutely had to learn while I was living in Japan until I became proficient enough with the language to carry on a conversation with ease.
It’s a little something called 空気を読む (kuki wo yomu) – or, as best as it can be translated into the English language, “reading the air”…which is not always as easy as one may think. Fortunately, because of my upbringing and the fact I learned how to become a conversationalist well before travelling, this came with a certain amount of ease to me.
Reading the air can best be explained as, but not exactly kin to, reading between the lines. The Japanese take it a bit further by it being an intricate part of their culture.
When you think reading the air – I want you to think of it as the ability to interpret / understand thoughts and feelings that another person you’re conversing with has – without them necessarily hinting towards or being blatantly obvious about what’s floating around inside their little heads.
Thankfully, in the West, this is a little less relied upon….unfortunately, for many Westerners visiting a country like Japan – this is a major pitfall for them….but this post isn’t about Japan – it’s about communication in general…
…body language says way, way more than many will ever realize. From people’s hand gestures, to eye movements, facial expressions, to touch – even posture and walk – every single one of these play critical points in the way many are perceived and approached. I’m going to try and keep this to 3 points maximum, as this could easily turn into a dissertation – in future I may touch more and more on things such as these though.
Let’s go with eye contact for starters. In my experience…eye contact is something that can bring out many, many different sides to people. From intimidation, to intrigue, to insecurity, to nervousness. So many people use eye contact in so many ways without really paying attention, to the manner in which they do.
So let’s say you want to come across as someone that commands respect, but also shows that you’re genuine and honestly interested in what the other person has to say. What do you do?
Well, for starters – and I’m sure some of you may have heard / read this before, but it always helps to look at someone dead center between their eyes or focus on the bridge of their nose.
Don’t focus so much on their actual eyes – shifting from eye to eye can make you seem as if you’re looking for a reaction to what you’re saying. Staying focused on center points out that you’re focused on them and gives conversation a better, genuine, more intimate feel.
So when you’re speaking, hold eye contact 70% of the time and avert it 30% of the time – giving someone 100% eye contact when talking can make a person feel like you’re forcing them to be engaged in the conversation – breaking away at this ratio gives everything a more relaxed feel.
When you’re the listener, you want to maintain eye contact with the speaker for as long as they do with you and then some – so when they’re talking and looking at you, then decide to look away, you maintain eye contact for 1-3 seconds more, then look away. Absolutely avoid locking eye contact the entire time you’re listening to someone talk – it comes across as staring and can easily make someone feel self-conscious.
This next part may sound funny, but avoid blinking. This comes naturally to me because when I was younger I had a soft spot for playing high intensity video games – so blinking was out of the question for me. Blink occasionally – and usually only when the other person looks away. Blinking too much exudes that your thoughts are potentially off somewhere else – where blinking sparingly shows that you’re interested in what the other party is saying.
Keep in mind some people – mostly insecure, may be intimidated by this…don’t let this change your way of communicating with eye contact – by having a steady gaze that comes across as focused – in both being the speaker or the listener – you’ll project that you feel confident, self-assured, and certain in your thoughts and opinions.
There’s loads more in reference to eye contact that I could cover, but for now this should suffice. At the moment I really just want to point out the key aspects that should get you rolling in the right direction…which brings me to my next point – sitting and standing.
Sitting and standing? You’re probably asking. Seems pretty basic and harmless right? Try again. These two actions can make or break how you want to come across…whether you’re going for casual/laid back or serious/suave…there are tiny little actions can make you come across exactly how you want to – or the complete opposite.
Both sitting and standing are fairly straight forward – though the latter relies slightly more on posture than the former. Improper posture, though not intended, can make you come across as insecure or unsure. If you’re tired after a long day or a difficult workout, it may seem difficult to pull yourself up straight – but it’s worth making the conscious effort.
Also, as a quick side note – shoes play a BIG part in this as well – when your feet don’t have proper support / your arches aren’t properly taken care of, this can cause you to naturally “slouch,” and actually make sitting / standing up straight more difficult. So, get out to the store, and get yourself some proper footwear – and no, they don’t have to be something your grandparents would wear.
Whenever I want to get my posture sorted out, I’ll shrug my shoulders until they touch my ears then relax – I also like to imagine a “hook” is pulling my front chest cavity up thus straightening my spine and shoulders. You’d be amazed at how both of these work.
When it comes to standing, if you’re going for the laid back look, it helps to avoid things such as crossing your arms / digging your hands in your pockets. The latter can be an exception to the rule IF, you know how to do it right. Check out the photo below – this can be applied to both men and women, contrary to popular belief (I’ve seen many women in Portugal have their hands in their pockets and actually be able to pull it off).
If you want to seem more serious, simple – avoid any casual movements, making sure your actions are more regimented and controlled. There will be a certain amount of control in your more relaxed movements as well – but they’ll be smoother.
Sitting is practically the same thing – except hand / leg placement plays a much bigger part. The simplest way I can explain it is to suggest avoiding any sitting positions where your “energy” is constricted – i.e. crossed arms, crossed legs….however, if you’re shooting for casual, crossed legs where one leg has a sort of playful “bounce” (both for the men and women – for women I call it the “foot dangle”, men I call the “casual tap”), is acceptable and can come off as casual and relaxed. Grasp the idea of that, and you can grasp the idea of hand / arm placement as well.
Sitting when it comes to being more serious / suave, is similar to the casual example, but slightly different. Again regimented, and more slow, controlled movements…a girl can cross one arm while holding a drink in the other next to her chin/face, while a man can sit with one arm across the couch and one leg casually crossed over the other…
…both genders can rest one arm across their leg that’s being supported, while maintaining excellent posture.
Got all that? Good…this brings me to my final point – facial expressions and hand movements. These two kind of go hand in hand…the latter getting someone to focus on the former. Think about it – if you’re sitting and having a conversation with someone, who uses no hand gestures whatsoever, but instead just sits there and talks with very little movement – how engaged do you think you might be if a distraction occurs? Or the subject slowly begins to die off…? Or you haven’t had a chance to respond in a while…?
You’ll more than likely look away. It’s not that you mean to – it’s just that the other person hasn’t really pulled you fully into the conversation – you’re not invested in it.
I’ll give an example….
Have you ever watched a girl/guy drum their fingers on their cheekbone – or run their hand through their hair to push it back (or for girls) off their face? Like you’ll be sitting there, listening to what they have to say – and your eyes wander – yet once they do that your eyes instantly go back to focusing on them, more specifically their face.
They’ll do this and maybe look in the air while they’re thinking or dart a look off to the side while they pause before they continue on with their thought…and somehow paired with their facial expression, eye movements and hand gestures they’ve got you paying attention to them with much more investment.
Now think about expanding this concept to other ideas…someone says something you’ve got to think on, or there’s an odd silence where they’re waiting for your opinion on something – you rest your jaw in your hand…look over at them, and let a slow, warm smile spread across your face – almost like you’re about to laugh – and they end up laughing before you do – they may be a bit puzzled by the reaction, but you’ve got them engaged – without saying a single word.
The goal here with all these points is to put across the most effective messages as possible – with the least effort and minimal words. Even though as humans we speak and use words, subconsciously our brains interpret deeper meanings and constantly read off of many more things than just the bits we use to piece sentences together…deaf people are excellent at picking up on whether or not a person is lying – where they lack the ability to hear words, their sense of body language is heightened thus making it easier to understand exactly what is being said with minimal effort.
So stop analyzing words, and start studying gestures, eye movements, touch, mouth movements (i.e. frowns, lip quivers, smirks, etc)…and start paying attention to what people are really saying – without them having to spell it out to you.
Musings Episode 17: Understanding The Unsaid…Body Language and Reading The Air is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life
Rain…this week has just been all rain. Booo. Usually, before the weekend or whenever I have an outing scheduled, I like to take time and commune with the car gods…by giving my ride a careful, detailed, meticulous wash. It’s a bonding process – often one that’s quite therapeutic….but with this week’s rain, it’s been near impossible. Every time, the minute I chose to throw on a pair of sandals and head outside, it would start raining. I won’t lie…it’s been a bit…*shrugs* depressing.
However…for all of you who live in ATL – that’s Atlanta, by the way – it doesn’t have to be so. Instead, you could take all that water – and fly. Literally.
I’m talking about Flyboard Atlanta. If you’ve ever wanted to fly like Superman, Iron Man, and Green Lantern – or maybe swim like a fish and do flips like a dolphin, this is your go to spot. The “system” is comprised of a jet pack, fueled by powerful streams of water – the water is supplied via the lake – more water, means more fun. More fun, means better stories to tell later.
So what do you do…? Well, you book a group session, grab a group of friends and some swim gear, hop into an FJ Cruiser, and head over to Aqualand Marina. From there you meet your instructor, Bryan. Swell guy. You proceed to listen faintly to what he’s saying, only to stumble and nod enthusiastically trying to recollect all of what he really did say as he asks you if you got all that…while you watch in amazement others doing back flips and dolphin dives like they’re Flipper.
Both single and group sessions are available, but initially this is the kind of activity you want to do with friends. More fun, more memories. So while you’re at it, join their club, and grab yourself some free flight time. My advice? Take a friend who has a steady hand and buy a waterproof video camera that doubles as a camera . You’ll want to show this to all who missed out.
Not much of a water fan and believe it’s best enjoyed in its gas form aka ice and at the bottom of a Collins glass? I’ve got just the thing for you…but first I have to ask – totally random but completely related – remember that age-old question that’s been bothering mankind since the beginning of its conception – “what came first – the chicken, or the egg”???
Well this weekend you’re going to be asking something along very similar lines…when you step into a lounge…that’s also a restaurant…that’s also a tapas bar…and also plastered in vinyls. I myself have asked this question, wondering if the owners initially started with the idea of setting up a record shop – only to realize that such a niche market is better complemented with great booze and proper food. Vinyl Chicago, hands down delivers in every department.
The place is literally dotted with choice vinyls, and really, what classic 33 would be complete without its cover? On top of that, these guys really know how to complement the scene with memorable guitars, exceptionally good music…..and a DJ booth.
A great place to head to solo, with a certain someone, or a group of friends. So sit down, have yourself some food from their outstanding varied menu, and kick back and relax to the sounds of Marvin Gaye, Prince, or even Grateful Dead. Mantovani? Yes, please.
But let’s say you can’t get a flight out to Chicago or even Atlanta to try out all this insanity because of the rainy weather, what next? If you’re in the Miami area, you decide to make mini golf fun – and try your hand at it in a museum. I know what you’re thinking – “Ummm…wouldn’t that warrant being escorted out by security, and possibly the police? I mean I’m a thrill seeker but come on Rego, let’s be reasonable.”
Don’t worry – while grabbing two putters and creating a spontaneous mini golf course through the museum, using priceless works of art as obstacle courses and being chased, arms flailing through a museum sounds both fun and amusing to some, I would never suggest that to you (key word, to you).
Instead, I’d like to introduce you to the more legal and socially acceptable method – Mini golf at Coral Gables Museum. Two cheers for innovative thinking. Since it’s only available to play July through the end of September, it’s something you want to neither pass up nor miss.
The facility is entirely located indoors, meaning no sunburn or unruly sweatiness for you…or your date. It’s a perfect date spot, in case you didn’t notice. Not so much for friends – unless you want to be kicked out due to shoving the younger kids off any given designated hole when they’re taking too long. So again, my suggestion? Cute date spot. Friends? Not so much. K.I.S.S…..keep it simple, stupid….and you’ll be revisiting your childhood before you know it.
The best part is, it has a concession stand with a full bar. Yeah. So take that childhood, mix it with a bit of adolescence, progress a little further to adulthood, and you’ve got yourself the best of three different worlds.
Have a great weekend. 😉
For The Weekenders: Jet Packs and Dolphin Dives, Record Store Boozing, Museum Mini-Golfing is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life
Musings: Quote Wednesdays…
“An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail” – Edwin Land
Sorry this one came in late! But it says all it needs to say…bottom line is, never be afraid. Try as hard as you can not to be….fear is immobility, and immobility is procrastination. If you really, really, want something, you have to go out there and get it – without hesitation. Hesitation stems from fear and uncertainty. While it may be beneficial at times, most often it’s just an illusion that has been taught to us as we progressed through life and grew out of childhood.
Really, when you think about it – the younger we are, the less likely to be fearful we are…think of all the what-you-would-now-consider-crazy things you’ve done in your youth – did you really ever regret them…? More than likely, they taught you something. They made you better at something…and they made you realize you could do more than you originally thought you would – merely by overriding fear, and pushing through.
So this weekend I was out with a few people on Saturday night, some new and some I’ve known a while. One thing that caught my attention was the manner in which one of the new people were talking. For a bit of background info while keeping anonymity, this particular person is in the real estate sector, and considered a “real estate guru”.
While it seemed they had a knack for closing on sales and acquiring large amounts of cash, their real hiccup was talking in a normal setting. They weren’t shy, no – but overbearing, critical, and constantly shot negs – and no, not the type used to pick up women – but backhanded compliments in general.
When it came to listening to others talk, he’d comment that while they seemed to know the terminology, they still had a ways to go…”but continue, this is interesting,” he’d say. This repetitive behaviour left the group annoyed and albeit them trying to accommodate and override the awkwardness in recovery from these comments, eventually everyone went their separate ways earlier than intended. Slightly later on a friend and I met up to shoot pool and discuss the evening.
“Man….” my friend started before breaking the rack, “…that guy was a dick. What planet did he come from expecting people to just be okay with him talking like that? He insulted the whole group almost. What a fucking know-it-all.” It was here I examined the table, trying not to laugh to hard at my buddy’s reaction, while also figuring out the most sensible and logical answer to his question.
He was justified in his opinion – they guy did act like a total ass, while mostly everyone else was getting acquainted with each other and exchanging view points and opinions on their given businesses/professions, exchanging ideas and thoughts – but never once did anyone, and I do mean anyone but this guy, have the balls to openly point out to another their lack of complete knowledge in any given field that was discussed but not necessarily their own.
So I lined up my shot, thought for a bit, took a sip of my drink and finally answered, “you know…and this is not at all making an excuse for the sod – but while he may know how to close, and have the ‘gift of gab’ when it comes to a sale…he’s clearly lacking in overall social skills…and really, when you think about it – honing in on that skill is what really makes a good businessperson. It has more long term effect, leaving a deeper impression on the mind.”
He nodded, agreeing that’s a critical point in any aspect of life – business, personal, romantic, platonic, you name it….and thinking on this made me want to share a few pointers with you ladies and gents, on how exactly to be a social elite – or, social butterfly, call it what you like. This is going to be slightly different from my usual episodic musings, but I’d like to share – so here goes….
Build up people
….and no, this does not mean kiss ass. Sycophancy and building people up are two completely different things. Building up someone means getting to know someone’s strong points, their desires, their dreams and goals…and most importantly their passions.
Get a person talking about their passions and desires – and you’ve got miles of road to run off of. The rest takes care of itself – because you’ve got someone talking about what they like. Most people go quiet because they’re waiting to talk – rarely do they ever go quiet to listen.
This doesn’t mean go completely quiet either – this means really assess what the person is saying, pick a point you’d like to know about/catches your eye (ear?), and engage them in that point.
Person 1: So you work as a foreign currency exchange trader?
Person 2: Yeah.
Person 1: That seems like an interesting trade – what got you so interested in it?
Person 2: I don’t know – I guess you could say I really like numbers.
Person 1: Same – money and math – the only two international languages 😉
Person 2: Haha, yeah.
Person 1: So what is it about numbers that you like exactly? Forex is a very volatile game – there’s gotta be some type of thrill factor in there…and my guess is you’re definitely the type who stays on their toes. It’s not for everyone.
Person 2: Oh yeah, no joke, it’s fast paced…well I guess you could say I was never really good at English – but Math I always nerded out on…so I guess I like the fact that though it may seem random and volatile – it’s really not, but instead….
You see how that interaction flowed…? Person 1 showed interest, intrigue, and a natural engagement in what person 2 did as a profession. They not only showed it – but also subtly complimented them on their skills, even though they weren’t entirely sure all of what it entailed. It didn’t come across as obvious or as if they were trying to compliment them at all. Which leads us to our next point….
Be genuine. Not nice.
These terms are another pair that tend to become easily confused. Being genuine, is a whole different ball game from being nice. Being nice is easy. Being nice is effortless. Being nice doesn’t take thinking, and it doesn’t take a whole lot of engagement either.
Being genuine is a different story however. It’s a little more proactive, a little more involved, and a little less bullshit. Being genuine means actually backing your words, having a reason why you said or did something, and not just doing it in order to keep up appearances.
Someone who’s nice could engage you as if they’re really paying attention. They could easily state, “oh absolutely, I’d love to know more about what it is you do as a fitness consultant. I myself thought about getting back into tennis!”
….only to leave your business card on the side table or the kitchen counter after parting ways in conversation with you. It happened to me the first time I had a business that relied heavily on social interaction – and it stung like hell. It was insulting, rude, and I felt like it was a complete waste of time talking to them.
Someone who’s genuine is really going to want to know about YOU. Not just find out things like they’re filling out a Facebook profile only to regurgitate the information for gossip later.
That’s the difference between nice and genuine…and it’s a fine line.
There’s “humor”…and then there’s humor.
The apparent trend nowadays portrayed by the media leans more toward the theory that being a complete smartass will get you somewhere. While the shock value of that may fascinate and intrigue intially, long term, it just gets plain old.
Humor, contrary to today’s popular belief, does not have to be at the expense of others. It does not have to be created from picking apart a conversation and pulling out points that don’t make sense. Remember that dialogue I showed you earlier? Between Person 1 and Person 2?
Person 2: I don’t know – I guess you could say I really like numbers.
Person 1: Same – money and math – the only two international languages 😉
Person 2: Haha, yeah.
While the statement may seem slightly unrelated to any sort of punchline, it actually flowed quite well. It didn’t involve bringing any other person in, nor did it involve shock value or discussion of something negative. It wasn’t forced to where Person 1 was trying to “create humor out of thin air”…
It stemmed from the conversation naturally, and in the most casual way possible. Sure, it’s not laugh-hysterically-funny, but it was calm, casual, and enough for a warm smile back at least with a bit of afterthought on what was just said – and on top of that, it was a true statement.
Of all the countries I’ve been to, it’s the only thing I’ve literally seen everyone be fluent in…from hand gestures to writing the numbers down (the Western Arabic numeric system is widely used in many countries).
What are some of the don’ts, you ask? Well, they can be summed up fairly easily:
- Don’t brag/gloat – noone wants to randomly hear about your mega yacht, unless deep-sea fishing is brought up – nor do they want to hear about your newly acquired BMW unless some form of mechanics or lifestyle is mentioned – stick with topics that flow in the conversation
- Don’t always focus on the negative – some people who are “experts,” focus so much on picking apart and analyzing the negative they forget to leave it at the door. While critical thinking, the occasional pessimist view, and problem solving may be good in a business setting – trying to tweak and discuss all the pitfalls could discourage conversation by dampening someone’s mood on a subject they may really enjoy talking about – and leave you wondering why conversation suddenly dries up at your every turn.
- Be humble – making a big point that you own your own company (and then pointing out again you’re the CEO…no shit Sherlock)/are in a management position does not sound cool. It just makes you sound like an insecure, never-had-anything-significant-happen-ass. Brushing casually over your title in a nonchalant manner will actually spark more intrigue than saying it with your chest puffed out.
So you get the general idea of this whole post…while there’s LOADS….and I do mean loads more things that must be learned and practice to further your goal of being a social elite, these are just a few tasters that can make a world of difference. I may continue this in next week’s episodic musing…we’ll see.
Until then, stayed tuned…and stay classy.
- Musings Episode 14: Friends for Friends….or Friends for Money….? (regoslife.com)
- Break the Ice In Any Situation with These 10 Conversation Starters (lifehacker.com)
Musings Episode 16: Effective Communication…How to Talk to People in Both Personal and Business is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life
If there’s anything I like more than summer – it’s summer with epic things to do…and damn am I always thinking up ideas. One in particular, being sprouted from memories of my teen years. Back then, before cars, I was a huge fan of board sports…
….and since I still am today, after doing some shopping around Miami Beach thanks to my party bible UD, I came across something beyond epicness. I know, that’s not a word, but hear me out for a second.
I’m talking about freeline skating. If you’re not entirely sure what that is, that’s okay – for a while I didn’t know what it was either…and then I realized this was something that absolutely needed to be a part of my life. The sport itself is so unique, yet so simple, when looking into it it leaves you with a sense of “how the fuck…did I not think of that?“.
The writers at Urban Daddy so cleverly labeled them as “mini skateboards for your feet,” a phrase which I’d have to wholeheartedly agree with. The video on how it all began will explain in detail how the genius of a man came to invent such awesomeness.
So what do you do? Well, you can either pick them up at Fritz’s Miami Beach like I did, or order them online. Hit up your nearest skate park (I recommend stretching first, if it’s been a while), and away you go. I won’t lie, it’s a bit tricky at first – but once you get it down, it’s the ultimate sense of freedom.
You may get a few odd stares here and there for those who’ve never seen it, despite the fact it’s been out for a few years now – but that’s okay…because when you and a few friends decide to relive your youth – or maybe that date of yours is a fan of board sports, and you need something unique to do – the impressed looks will far outweigh the odd ones.
Once you’ve had your fill of freeline skating, and trusting you haven’t pulled or sprained anything – if it seems this summer is getting a little too hot, and you want even more of a workout – I recommend skipping back over to Fort Worth Texas, minus the drive-in movie this time, and instead head 14 miles Southwest, hitting up WakeSport Ranch – the name obviously implying your next move.
…because if you’re going to wakeboard, you might as well do it big – like second largest wakeboard track in the world big. For an experienced wakeboarder, this is your happy place – your temple, your holy ground. With fun boxes, A-frames, wedges, kickers, and transfer boxes – there is no excuse to not have fun and show off.
The place is huge, and easily accommodates you bringing a large group to get in on the action – just be sure to book your hotel room(s) at Best Western and mention WakeSport Ranch for a discount – hell maybe you can even ask if they have any suites available, if you’re going with a certain someone (*wink*). The best part is they’re also conveniently located at Motorsport Ranch – the world’s first Sports Car Country Club.
Go ahead…get your need for speed fix while you’re at it. If you won’t, I will….
….but let’s say you’re okay with just shredding concrete waves this weekend, and now you’ve worked up an appetite. The friends are tired too, and your date looks a little famished (y’know, from getting all hot and bothered by your sheer awesomeness).
Besides passing around smart comments out of good fun and having your way with words, while you’re doing that why not try something even more…Tongue & Cheek.
…which is the name of the restaurant you’ll be going to.
Why…? Well besides the fact that the name in and of itself indicates the place is worth checking out (duh.), they happen to have very good drinks…I mean food. Also good drinks. Forget Hooters for now – their Fried Chicken with Pickled Red Cabbage and Tabasco Hollandaise is worth passing up one night of naked wings dipped in franchise hot sauce (as a side note – Hooters, your wings are amazing).
Even if you’re not a fan of fried foods and prefer to eat a little cleaner, the Long Island Scallops with Hearts of Palm and Roasted Mushrooms will be sure to leave you speechless and wanting more.
Order a Blue Moon to go with the chicken, or an after dinner Tawny Port to complement the scallops and you’ve got yourself a grand old time, with a full stomach, good friends, and relatively impressed date.
While the casual post-sport session look may fly, I highly recommend showering up and throwing on something smart casual. The restaurant will thank you. Your date will thank you. Your friends will follow suit.
- Best Wakeboarding Boards (mademan.com)
- Red Bull competitors happy to be making waves (TBO.com)
- 10 Best Wakeboards For Men (mademan.com)
For The Weekenders: Workouts and Wakeboarding, Tongue & Cheek Dining, Skateboarding Without the Board is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life
Musings: Quote Wednesdays…
“Music is the shorthand of emotion.” – Leo Tolstoy
For when sometimes words aren’t enough, or too much…the right song can say everything it needs to. The only international language – besides money and math – that can calm your thoughts and silence the noise of everyday life.
Like writing, what you put into it is what you get out of it. To all you musicians and artists out there – I just wanna say thanks, for expressing yourselves – thus letting me and everyone else express ourselves. Keep at it. You’re appreciated more than you think.