Musings: Quote Wednesdays…
Just a little mid-week food for thought mixed with some humor 😉
Hope everyone’s having a great week!
Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™
So this morning I got up an hour early because of my wrist watch and completely forgot it’s daylight savings time.
Instead of going back to bed, I decide to head out to the den and watch a movie – sorting through the stack I come across both a childhood and present day favorite – Big (1988). Oh man. It’s been ages.
There’s one in particular scene towards the end of the film that really grabs my attention. Right when Josh is just getting accustomed to being an adult and Billy storms into his office:
Josh: Will you please leave? I got a deadline to meet. Gosh.
Billy: Who the fuck do you think you are ?
Billy: You’re Josh Baskin, remember? You broke your arm on my roof! You hid in MY basement when Robert Dyson was about to rip your head off!
Josh: You don’t get it, do you? This is important!
Billy: I’m your best friend. What’s more important than that, huh?
[Turns to leave]
Billy: And I’m three months older than you are, ASSHOLE!
If any of you remember this scene, you can understand why Billy was angry. Not so much at Josh’s actions, but what he started to become. He lost touch – took his eye off the ball.
In becoming an adult, Josh was also losing sight of what life is really all about. Really, when you think about it – this happens to a lot of people as they get older.
There’s nothing wrong with responsibility – absolutely not…but with that responsibility, sometimes you can forget about the other part of life – the stress free, have a laugh part of life.
I remember when I used to work in the Forex industry doing currency exchange – the team I was on knew how to party, but at the same time they could be some real cut throat bastards – you really come to know a man when you get some alcohol in ’em.
Anyway – there was this one guy, who was practically like a brother from another mother – and pretty much the one person in the group who made the most sense when he talked, inebriated or not. If there was one piece of advice and wisdom he gave me that outweighed everything else he ever said, it was this:
Listen Rego – this business can make you crazy – the pressure, the timing, the politics, the stakes. This group, this team you’re on can make you crazy, too – they’re one group of shit talking bastards. But at the end of the day, for you and you only, you have to do one thing – the minute you step foot outside the office, the minute you make it home and close your front door:
This company, these guys, this market, doesn’t exist. The minute you’re home – the only thing that exists is the life you’re living, outside of this job – outside of making money. Don’t ever speak of work if you’re not in the building. Ever – separate work from home like it’s religion from politics.
This has stuck with me ever since I heard it more than 5 years ago, and it’s something I’ll never forget.
What happens is, people get so caught up in their job, in their work, and not in a good way. If you have a business that you love, sure, that’s positive. But the minute your work starts to consume your life, your time, in a negative way, to the point you lose sight of the meaning in your life – it’s time you stop yourself, and re-evaluate. If you haven’t already, go ahead and subscribe here now, or at the bottom of this page to my official site, for a free download on how to improve your lifestyle.
What is Rego’s Life all about? Success. Freedom. Lifestyle. Fun. Travel. Fun. Laser focus. FUN. Adjusting your thinking. Getting to know yourself. Getting to know your desires. Never losing sight. Never getting caught up in the rat race. Realizing, and acknowledging what matters. Making it count.
This is why Billy got pissed at Josh – he forgot about life – and who and what mattered.
I’m a big kid at heart. If you met me in the street however – hell who knows what you’d think. Some people call me serious. Some people call me chill. I’ve even been called “suave” a handful of times (not to toot my own horn, of course). Then others call me funny – others borderline narcissistic…and you know that’s okay – I’m fine with that. But really, I’m just one big kid at heart.
If you ever visited my place, in one room you’d see office stuff, some free weights, etc, etc. Then in another you’d see video games, snowboards/skateboards, marshmallow guns, footballs (Man Utd for the win), board games, etc, etc.
Life’s just one big playground…and a lot of times, people forget that the minute they grow up.
In my opinion, growing up isn’t just about age – fuck that. Growing up is based on life experiences, and how you choose to mold yourself after encountering said experiences. Me? I’ve learned to be selectively mature – selectively grown up.
I’ll be completely serious and mature about business, money, relationships, and responsibilities – but catch me outside of that setting and you’ll discover a completely different person – from taking extravagant trips abroad, to playing frisbee in a park, loyalty to friends and being reasonable and opinionated – I’ve come to learn life is all about doing what makes you happy – what makes life worth living.
That’s how you make your stamp on the world. Remembering the things that matter. Really thinking about your actions. Laser like focus.
I understand completely this can vary from person to person, but the main thing here to understand is this – life isn’t about bills. It isn’t about climbing the corporate ladder. It’s not about getting that company car, or that corner office overlooking the lake. It’s about discovering yourself, discovering what makes you happy, and at the same time still holding onto and remembering that childhood optimism and fearlessness that is slowly extracted from us the more we conform to societal norms.
So here’s where I ask you the big three:
What is life about, to you?
What do you want out of life?
What makes life worth living?
Comment and share below…
…and of course, as always….
- Musings Episode 26: Go Big or Go Home…. (regoslife.com)
- Musings Episode 29: Lifestyle… (regoslife.com)
- Daylight Savings Time: The Weirdest Night Of The Year For Bartenders (refinery29.com)
- Musings Episode 28: Take The Leap… (regoslife.com)
Last week was crazy….and it doesn’t stop there, no, it continues onto this week. Long story short, I have a business associate I’m working with on trying to finish up a brand new, completely revamped commercial property, who is all over the board – no sense of organization or time allocation whatsoever…and it’s just about damn near driving me up the wall.
The project we’re both working on together, has been like molasses once it gets out of the bottle – initially, it trickles down slowly, reaching the spout – but once it does….it all comes out as if a landslide. Stopping it takes a bit of skill and you’ve gotta be quick enough to catch it all without spillage.
That’s pretty much the same thing I’m dealing with with the tasks at hand – it’s at the landslide part. Because of lack of organization in the beginning – everything, and I do mean everything is having to be done last minute. Now, if you were to hang out with me and get to know me on a week to week basis, over the years you would discover when it comes to business – or most things for that matter – one thing I absolutely despise is leaving things until the last minute.
It’s impractical. Leaves room for mistakes. Work gets sloppy, because things must be done in a rush and much faster. Things get forgotten, details overlooked, and in the end having to go back and correct/complete the overlooked/forgotten things actually just ends up creating more work, that takes more time.
Disorganization is not my friend.
Some people thrive in diving into a project where everyone’s flying by the seat of their pants. Others, like myself, don’t mind building a structured system to apply to a project that’s currently all over the board – but not often.
Getting organized really isn’t that hard. It just takes a few small simple steps on a day to day basis, until you can pretty much put everything on “auto pilot”. I’ve always liked the sound of that – maximizing time efficiency. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not at all a fan of things such as auto bill pay or cars that drive themselves.
I’m just one who appreciates shaving off a few minutes – even hours – here and there so I can enjoy the most of my day. It could be as simple as setting things out a certain way so I can breeze through my daily routine, or creating “systems” in my work to speed up the process of certain things. Even when I plan a great night out, I’ll have it laid out down to the minute detail – always of course, with room for flexibility. What I dislike, is when minds can’t be made up or large amounts of uncertainty.
Some things are made to where they seem more efficient but really end up being less so and take up more time. A good example of this is voice text – okay, so I get the basic concept and all, but honestly, has anyone really tried that shit out…? Even if you calibrate it to recognize the way you say certain words, it can still fuck up pretty bad. I’m a stickler for the smart phones with the Qwerty keyboards….like the LG Mach. At least if you make a mistake it’s purely your own grammatical error. Instead of…eh…I don’t know, implying you want someone’s grandpa dead.
….or implying you have a strange addiction to certain foods…
….or you know…just getting plain frustrated with the auto correct feature and not even being able to express said frustration.
The amount of time spent correcting mistakes made by the phone’s auto correct or voice recognition takes longer than banging out a simple text that just requires a bit of dexterity and finger work – today, I still have a Qwerty keypad phone for my personal use, and a regular “swype” keypad as one of my business phones.
But back to the main subject – being organized basically means putting a little bit of effort in day to day, so you don’t have one collective pile of stuff that’s been pushed aside coming back and slapping you in the face like an overwhelmed teen who just found out they’re pregnant.
The main thing here is to sort out the simplest things first, then work a structured plan and pace of action for the bigger fish you have to fry. Anything last minute has a bigger chance of going tits up…and and anything that’s “put aside” until later has a bigger chance of becoming unnecessarily overwhelming. If you try focusing on the biggest things first all the time, or worse, jumping from one project to the next simultaneously, you can potentially end up taxing your brain too much.
Wanna know how successful people really get things accomplished? They take more breaks. They stop multi-tasking….and the avoid bullshit time-consuming things, such as going back and forth with e-mails, instead of just picking up the goddamn phone.
There’s loads of ways that you can get organized. I may be elaborating on this in a later post. For now, this is more of a rant – I know, I’m usually not one to rant, but jesus christ disorganization is a pet peeve of mine…actually no – I don’t even want to call it a “pet.” It’s a pain in the bum.
Look out for this Thursday’s “For The Weekenders” post….I can guarantee I’ll be doing every single thing on the list…maybe even for a week…or three….thousand.
So this weekend I was out with a few people on Saturday night, some new and some I’ve known a while. One thing that caught my attention was the manner in which one of the new people were talking. For a bit of background info while keeping anonymity, this particular person is in the real estate sector, and considered a “real estate guru”.
While it seemed they had a knack for closing on sales and acquiring large amounts of cash, their real hiccup was talking in a normal setting. They weren’t shy, no – but overbearing, critical, and constantly shot negs – and no, not the type used to pick up women – but backhanded compliments in general.
When it came to listening to others talk, he’d comment that while they seemed to know the terminology, they still had a ways to go…”but continue, this is interesting,” he’d say. This repetitive behaviour left the group annoyed and albeit them trying to accommodate and override the awkwardness in recovery from these comments, eventually everyone went their separate ways earlier than intended. Slightly later on a friend and I met up to shoot pool and discuss the evening.
“Man….” my friend started before breaking the rack, “…that guy was a dick. What planet did he come from expecting people to just be okay with him talking like that? He insulted the whole group almost. What a fucking know-it-all.” It was here I examined the table, trying not to laugh to hard at my buddy’s reaction, while also figuring out the most sensible and logical answer to his question.
He was justified in his opinion – they guy did act like a total ass, while mostly everyone else was getting acquainted with each other and exchanging view points and opinions on their given businesses/professions, exchanging ideas and thoughts – but never once did anyone, and I do mean anyone but this guy, have the balls to openly point out to another their lack of complete knowledge in any given field that was discussed but not necessarily their own.
So I lined up my shot, thought for a bit, took a sip of my drink and finally answered, “you know…and this is not at all making an excuse for the sod – but while he may know how to close, and have the ‘gift of gab’ when it comes to a sale…he’s clearly lacking in overall social skills…and really, when you think about it – honing in on that skill is what really makes a good businessperson. It has more long term effect, leaving a deeper impression on the mind.”
He nodded, agreeing that’s a critical point in any aspect of life – business, personal, romantic, platonic, you name it….and thinking on this made me want to share a few pointers with you ladies and gents, on how exactly to be a social elite – or, social butterfly, call it what you like. This is going to be slightly different from my usual episodic musings, but I’d like to share – so here goes….
Build up people
….and no, this does not mean kiss ass. Sycophancy and building people up are two completely different things. Building up someone means getting to know someone’s strong points, their desires, their dreams and goals…and most importantly their passions.
Get a person talking about their passions and desires – and you’ve got miles of road to run off of. The rest takes care of itself – because you’ve got someone talking about what they like. Most people go quiet because they’re waiting to talk – rarely do they ever go quiet to listen.
This doesn’t mean go completely quiet either – this means really assess what the person is saying, pick a point you’d like to know about/catches your eye (ear?), and engage them in that point.
Person 1: So you work as a foreign currency exchange trader?
Person 2: Yeah.
Person 1: That seems like an interesting trade – what got you so interested in it?
Person 2: I don’t know – I guess you could say I really like numbers.
Person 1: Same – money and math – the only two international languages 😉
Person 2: Haha, yeah.
Person 1: So what is it about numbers that you like exactly? Forex is a very volatile game – there’s gotta be some type of thrill factor in there…and my guess is you’re definitely the type who stays on their toes. It’s not for everyone.
Person 2: Oh yeah, no joke, it’s fast paced…well I guess you could say I was never really good at English – but Math I always nerded out on…so I guess I like the fact that though it may seem random and volatile – it’s really not, but instead….
You see how that interaction flowed…? Person 1 showed interest, intrigue, and a natural engagement in what person 2 did as a profession. They not only showed it – but also subtly complimented them on their skills, even though they weren’t entirely sure all of what it entailed. It didn’t come across as obvious or as if they were trying to compliment them at all. Which leads us to our next point….
Be genuine. Not nice.
These terms are another pair that tend to become easily confused. Being genuine, is a whole different ball game from being nice. Being nice is easy. Being nice is effortless. Being nice doesn’t take thinking, and it doesn’t take a whole lot of engagement either.
Being genuine is a different story however. It’s a little more proactive, a little more involved, and a little less bullshit. Being genuine means actually backing your words, having a reason why you said or did something, and not just doing it in order to keep up appearances.
Someone who’s nice could engage you as if they’re really paying attention. They could easily state, “oh absolutely, I’d love to know more about what it is you do as a fitness consultant. I myself thought about getting back into tennis!”
….only to leave your business card on the side table or the kitchen counter after parting ways in conversation with you. It happened to me the first time I had a business that relied heavily on social interaction – and it stung like hell. It was insulting, rude, and I felt like it was a complete waste of time talking to them.
Someone who’s genuine is really going to want to know about YOU. Not just find out things like they’re filling out a Facebook profile only to regurgitate the information for gossip later.
That’s the difference between nice and genuine…and it’s a fine line.
There’s “humor”…and then there’s humor.
The apparent trend nowadays portrayed by the media leans more toward the theory that being a complete smartass will get you somewhere. While the shock value of that may fascinate and intrigue intially, long term, it just gets plain old.
Humor, contrary to today’s popular belief, does not have to be at the expense of others. It does not have to be created from picking apart a conversation and pulling out points that don’t make sense. Remember that dialogue I showed you earlier? Between Person 1 and Person 2?
Person 2: I don’t know – I guess you could say I really like numbers.
Person 1: Same – money and math – the only two international languages 😉
Person 2: Haha, yeah.
While the statement may seem slightly unrelated to any sort of punchline, it actually flowed quite well. It didn’t involve bringing any other person in, nor did it involve shock value or discussion of something negative. It wasn’t forced to where Person 1 was trying to “create humor out of thin air”…
It stemmed from the conversation naturally, and in the most casual way possible. Sure, it’s not laugh-hysterically-funny, but it was calm, casual, and enough for a warm smile back at least with a bit of afterthought on what was just said – and on top of that, it was a true statement.
Of all the countries I’ve been to, it’s the only thing I’ve literally seen everyone be fluent in…from hand gestures to writing the numbers down (the Western Arabic numeric system is widely used in many countries).
What are some of the don’ts, you ask? Well, they can be summed up fairly easily:
- Don’t brag/gloat – noone wants to randomly hear about your mega yacht, unless deep-sea fishing is brought up – nor do they want to hear about your newly acquired BMW unless some form of mechanics or lifestyle is mentioned – stick with topics that flow in the conversation
- Don’t always focus on the negative – some people who are “experts,” focus so much on picking apart and analyzing the negative they forget to leave it at the door. While critical thinking, the occasional pessimist view, and problem solving may be good in a business setting – trying to tweak and discuss all the pitfalls could discourage conversation by dampening someone’s mood on a subject they may really enjoy talking about – and leave you wondering why conversation suddenly dries up at your every turn.
- Be humble – making a big point that you own your own company (and then pointing out again you’re the CEO…no shit Sherlock)/are in a management position does not sound cool. It just makes you sound like an insecure, never-had-anything-significant-happen-ass. Brushing casually over your title in a nonchalant manner will actually spark more intrigue than saying it with your chest puffed out.
So you get the general idea of this whole post…while there’s LOADS….and I do mean loads more things that must be learned and practice to further your goal of being a social elite, these are just a few tasters that can make a world of difference. I may continue this in next week’s episodic musing…we’ll see.
Until then, stayed tuned…and stay classy.
- Musings Episode 14: Friends for Friends….or Friends for Money….? (regoslife.com)
- Break the Ice In Any Situation with These 10 Conversation Starters (lifehacker.com)
Musings Episode 16: Effective Communication…How to Talk to People in Both Personal and Business is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life