There are a lot of great places to explore out there.
So why limit yourself to your side of the world?
It’s time to get…unconventional.
For The Weekenders: Lion King Lodges, Subway Station Parties, Cast Away Escapades…
I used to be a fan of Lion King (don’t judge), when I was a kid.
The wild life, wide open spaces, and the thought of “no worries” was very appealing at such a tender age.
I watched the movie and enjoyed spending hours of my day playing the video game on Sega with a friend (and by “playing” I mean us impatiently and quietly hoping one of us would kill off our character in hopes of our turn coming around quicker).
So naturally, when I discovered there was a luxury lodge in Botswana where you could get up close and personal with lions, zebras, and cheetahs, I was very much:
Qorokwe Camp promises to deliver this, and more.
Fun fact: “Qorokwe” means “the place where the buffalo broke through the bush into the water.”
You can use that to sound interesting, cultured, and suave when you’re convincing your play mate to go with you on the trip.
This is the perfect opportunity to get away from all the “busyness” of urban society, while at the same time letting that special someone know that yes, while you may be brilliant at business, money, and knowing how to make more of said money, you’re not just some boring numbers person and you do like to sometimes live dangerously.
Across 62,692 acres there’s more wildlife than you can shake a stick at, inlcuding a lion pride made up of just over a dozen lions, allowing you to step into the Lion King story – but without all the family dysfunction, treachery, and betrayal (hint: don’t invite Uncle Carl this time).
You’ve got two choices for accommodation – a family tent suite with its own pool, or a regular tent suite, not as big, but just as nice. So if you’re the family type, obviously opt for the former…but if you’re here for a sneaky, on-emergency-call-only get together, the latter will do just fine, as you’ll probably spend more time running around the other facilities they have, thanking the architect (and landscape architect) for mixing nature with artistry.
After going for your morning swim and having some breakfast, if you’re feeling adventurous, the camp is far from being in short supply of adventurous things to do.
For the less-adventurous-vegan-mocha-ugg-boot-triple-latte types, there’s bird watching, nature walks, and plonking yourself in a dugout canoe while being…boated around to look at the surrounding wildlife.
But for the braver among us, there are night drives. The perfect time to see those “I wear my sunglasses at night” type creatures that normally shy away during daylight hours.
This means it’s also the perfect time for those *rustle in the bush* “EEK! What was that?” *more rustling* “nothing, don’t worry, just…nestle right in here – you’ll be safe” moments.
When you’ve had enough adventuring for the day (or night) you can retire back to your suite to freshen up, grab some food, and hit the on-site bar, before moving onto the lounge to admire the photos you took with your favourite camera of all those wonderful creatures.
See where the wild things are, what they are, and how very much the opposite of assumed “shithole” countries they’re in.
If the call of the wild isn’t your thing, and you instead feel like settling for the “safer” (pfft…lame.) containment of the city, then this next one is for you.
Bar hopping can get pretty boring. Boring for you, boring for your friends, boring for your date.
So when your sexy someone slips into the passenger’s seat of your car with a look of “where-are-we-headed-tonight-and-it-better-be-good” you have two options:
- Proceed to piss her off more with a look of “I don’t know”.
- Ask her what she’d like to do already having a general idea of what her scene is and what she’s into…only to surprise her by saying you’ve decided it’ll be more fun to party in a subway station.
If you went with option 2, now would be a good time to catch her before she hits you with her bag and stomps off…and assure her that no, it’s not the subway station party that involves Four Loko and partying with vagabonds.
It’s this kind.
Far less sketchy, far more artistic, Station1640 in L.A. is the mystical unicorn kind of a place that you can take a date to for an experience of a dance club, art gallery, and bar rolled into one.
I’m not kidding.
The graffiti is literally done by artists – these aren’t your cheap, poorly spelled “fuk u” dick drawing street tags you see the city constantly trying to cover up. You’ll be looking at works of art from people like Obey Giant, David Flores, and King Cre8, to name a few.
This is no place to go sticking gum on the walls.
Refined but nonetheless somewhere you can let your hair down, so to speak (or get her to let hers down), it reminds me a bit of Ageha and those professional male and female pole dancers (professional being a severe understatement).
They’ve got mixologists as opposed to bartenders – and if you know anything about drinking, there is a vast difference between the two. The former is the “say no more fam” while the latter is more “…so you want vodka, is that what you’re saying?” when you ask for a drink that involves setting an ingredient or two on fire.
If you really like the place, you can book it for private hire and invite as many people as it can handle…but just remember you’ve booked it, not bought it, so while you’ve grown quite fond of it no, it’s not yours to keep and you eventually will have to let the regular people have their fun.
This is one time a good thing must sadly, come to an end.
If you like the feeling of running things though, and haven’t satisfied your appetite just yet, I’ve got something bigger for you.
If booking a club isn’t enough for you, you can always just book an island.
There are two types of escapades.
One that’s secret and fun, which only you and a select few friends know about.
And the other, that’s considered “shenanigans” and gets leaked to the media (depending on your level of importance – in your case, maybe not so much), turning into a…fiasco.
Either way, both are the type that with Calala Island in Nicaragua, can run along the lines of “what happens in Calala Island, stays in Calala Island”.
It’s so remote you’ll need to charter a flight to Augusto C. Sandino International Airport (In Managua), before (preferably) getting a chopper ride over to the island.
Better bring some friends. Including yourself and that special someone Calala accommodates 8, with 4 beachfront suites and about two rugby teams worth of staff to handle your every need (though I can’t promise they’ll help with your personal life – you’ll need a therapist for that).
Here’s the best part – you can do whatever you want. Everything’s all inclusive.
From the food you eat, to the activities you choose to partake in, and the drinks you choose to throw back, it’s all included in the price you’re charged – so go wild.
Whatever you want to do, the staff will tailor things according to your wants. This is no cookie cutter holiday.
Get creative (creative – not weird), indulge, and rest in the satisfaction of knowing that you have a little secret that no one can take away from you (given you don’t blab about it on Facebook, genius).
You can do whatever you want – this even means playing Marco Polo naked.
But if you’re unfit, for the love of god put on some clothes.
Nobody likes man titties, by default making this a pec-only zone.
What happens on Calala Island…
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