Musings Episode 87: Problems…

Yeah – touched on this a little a few episodic musings ago. Let’s expand a little.

Musings Episode 87: Problems…

I was talking to a friend the other day about some things, like mostly just what’s going on in the news and what not.

I usually don’t like to watch the news too frequently – it’s boring and just a shit show of different depressing things.

When I say depressing, I mean it just amplifies the chaos that I know is already going on in the world.

But then it also tends to over-exaggerate things, too.

One thing I’ve learnt from travelling is that news is told differently, in different places. Different countries.

One country may minimise a problem, the other may blow it out of proportion, yet another may not even consider it news worth reporting.

And that got me thinking – just how often do people do this in their everyday lives?

There’s a saying, “1st world problems,” usually accompanied by something like “using your smart phone to log onto your bank account only to see it has 0.16 pence in it” or something similar.

Or “1st world problems: Driving to the gym only to realise you forgot your headphones so now you can’t workout”.

There’s a lot of superficial problems floating around.

In the context of friendships, business, family, and relationships in general.

Superficial problems which people have a skilled habit of creating.

Superficial problems which are created, and while initially seemingly harmless, create larger, real problems for another party – rarely the party that ever creates them.

Why do we create so many superficial problems?

Is it because of convenience?

Of comfort?

Family “can’t” meet for the holidays because of -xyz.

Maybe it’s feeling like they all have to spend time with their new “extensions” of family, rather than making an effort to get everyone together under one roof.

So a superficial problem like that causes a real problem of family disconnect and discord.

Friends stop physically hanging out with each other because of distance.

And by distance I mean laziness of getting in the car and taking that “cumbersome 30 minute to an hour drive”.

So they opt for chatting on social media instead thinking this “nourishes” the relationship, which is nothing close to what they called just a couple of decades ago “socialising”.

A superficial problem like that causes, as the Chinese say “the tea to go cold”, or the real problem of not building a healthy, real social network of non-apathetic people that are there when you need them most.

Then people say they’re “lonely”.

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Business, work, and jobs.

Not educated enough? Underqualified.

Go to university, get an education.

Got an education? Well, that’s great but you don’t have work experience.

No work experience? Get work experience.

Have work experience and an education? Not quite enough education, get more education.

Got more education? Now it’s too much education.

You’re overqualified, ergo not eligible for the role in fear you may “find something better”.

So you try for part-time work to keep food on the table.

Nope, sorry, try again.

Can’t get it because employers don’t want you sticking around temporarily.

So a string of superficial problems like that costs a person their human security – their dignity to live and enjoy life as a respectable human being.

No food? Go grocery shopping from your smart phone – and get it delivered.

Hungry? Cook what’s in the fridge.

Don’t wanna cook? Order out.

Don’t know what to eat? Say you’re “starving” then end up snacking.

The food you bought in the fridge goes off. Then you’ve gotta throw it away.

A superficial problem like that causes a person’s nutritional profile or daily diet to go down the tube, leading to a very real problem of long-term health issues.

Or my favourite – this new “food shortage” everyone’s raving about.

It’s called over-consumption and waste, dumbass.

Convenience. Convenience and laziness. Convenience and laziness seem to be ruining the basis of human self-reliance.

Lack of self-reliance or independence causes a sense of dissatisfaction.

Have dissatisfaction? You’re not happy.

Find your happy place.

Join a yoga class.

Happiness isn’t yoga, motherfucker.

Happiness isn’t finding your zen.

It’s not meditating.

Meditating is about reaching a neutral place.

It’s not the quinoa in your fucking bowl or your morning chamomile tea.

If you have all the creature comforts and more in life, and you’re still not happy, well…

You’re not happy because somewhere…you’re disgusted with yourself.

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Disgusted because somewhere you know you’re not really pulling your weight when it comes to your existence, which is affecting other people’s existences, through creating simple, silly, superficial problems, which turn into very real problems for other people.

Happiness is in your existence. It shouldn’t take yoga, or tea, or “woosah” or any of that other bull.

You’re not happy with yourself when you’re not being a decent human being.

You’re not happy with yourself when you know you’re creating superficial problems.

Sure you may know this – it may fester and eat away at the back of your subconscious, but you’ve grown quite comfortable with ignoring it by indulging in your little world of convenience, blowing the “news” in your head out of proportion thus justifying your actions and feelings.

I’m not saying convenience is bad – I’m simply saying indulging in too much of it can cause an absolute shit storm.

Get out of your bubble.

Realise you’re not the only one that exists in this world…

…and understand that your “superficial” problems, may very well be affecting other people’s lives on a very real, and very detrimental level, because you’re too senseless to realise it.

Think about it.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 86: Problems… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

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Musings Episode 57: Read The Air…

Not sure if anyone’s heard this expression, slightly similar to “read between the lines.” I touched briefly on it several episodic musings ago, a little something I picked up in Asia. Thought I’d elaborate once more on it here. Enjoy.

Musings Episode 57: Read The Air…

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There’s certain points in conversation where an exchange happens, and either both or one of the parties wanna say something but refrain slightly from doing so – and instead just sort of “dance” around the subject.

Personally, I prefer to talk straight (note, this does not mean “talking without thinking first”), but sometimes this type of thinking isn’t always appropriate for every single situation. This is where learning to appreciate reading the air comes in handy. Don’t get me wrong – reading the air has some serious negatives, too – but at times and in certain situations, it can be highly beneficial (business is not one of them though).

I remember my days back in uni studying International Business and Asia Pacific Studies – this was shortly after returning from Japan – they were discussing just what “reading the air” meant.

Simply put, it’s like saying something without actually saying it, but the implication’s there with as few words as possible. It’s about reading the atmosphere, and knowing what (or what not) to say next. It’s just something you’ve gotta pick up on. It’s pretty helpful because it can spare embarrassment.

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So why the heck am I writing about this on a Musings Episode? It’s just one of those thoughts I had to get on paper…or computer screen, guess you could say.

It’s something that would benefit the Western culture greatly if they learned how to use it, as it teaches a person how to be tactful and not sound so presumptuous…or assinine, for that matter.

I’d say the trait is more in Americans, BUT, coming from an English background as well there’s been more than a fair share of people I’ve wanted to say “sod off” too as well.

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Reading the air can tie into not letting your brother turn “red in the face.” It’s a really core part of Japanese culture and something that you never fully master – some may call it “passive.” Yeah, it’s got some tendencies of “don’t rock the boat,” but really it can boil down to sparing someone’s feelings as well (hence the “red in the face” expression).

Although Chinese culture is on a whole different level (right down to the way they ask you to open a window) when it comes to indirect communication, the same way kids in primary school out here are being taught Mandarin, because this is turning into a global economy and has been one for a while now, it’d be really beneficial if the generation of today were taught key cultural “quirks” like these.

It’s not asking much either, really. The same way Western culture has its sarcasm, highly innuendo-ish humor, and cliches, picking up how to understand what someone’s saying without a plethora of words could balance the entirety of a lot of people’s social skills to say the least.

Tomorrow I’ll be elaborating on a few quick tips on exactly how to start reading the air.

Just a little Sunday food for thought. Wanna share your opinion? Comment below.

Hope everyone’s having a great morning. 😉

As always…

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Improve Your Lifestyle. Improve Yourself. This is Life. This is Rego’s Life.™

Musings Episode 57: Read The Air… is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

 

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Musings Episode 22: College Life…

So I met up with a friend at a bar last night, and no more than five minutes as I walk in they’re explaining to one of their buddies how they’re taking an oath to quit drinking until December.

…………

…………………..

………………………………..

Yeah....sure.

Yeah….sure.

Their reason….? They’re going for their Master’s degree. So they’re trying to “straighten up” during school time.

I don’t believe it’s all about just “straightening up” or being super hard on yourself.

I remember my university days….it was epic. Topics I liked. Classes I could take naps in. Great lounge bars I could go out to. Great pre-hangover places I could eat at…which lead to no hangover.

Do you even get hangovers anymore

Mind you this was only in the second year.

The first year I was hell bent on studying – I’d done all my drinking/clubbing/partying a good while before I decided to attend university…and that in itself was a real education. So I was burnt out from all that.

I think the only downside to going to uni was the limited time I had available for travel…but even then not so much, because with a smooth tongue and a skill for writing I practically had money thrown at me to travel places for “educational purposes”. Taking up Rhetoric and Logic also played a big part in my high school days as well…

SmoothTalker

…that and learning to talk to practically everyone during my party days *nods*.

Don’t get me wrong – I learned a lot. I know far more about how businesses run in other countries than I would’ve ever known had I not tried my hand at such opportunities.

There’s a certain thing about college life. It’s a time freeze between not quite growing up and the real world. It’s both haze and fantasy – for those who go straight from high school to college, it seems like ultimate freedom…but for those who take a break from the academic world and then come back to it on a level such as university/college – it’s kind of a joke.

A joke as in, sometimes, more often than not, a person can often find themselves looking around at everyone who’s freaking out, getting drunk, acting out, doing completely moronic things and think “holy shit…is this all people think there is to life…?”

drink gpa

This too, is a joke…and if it were the truth – all my friends in England would’ve failed miserably instead of getting epic careers all over the fucking world. Nice try, extremist chart maker.

When you avoid the what I like to call “trap” of going straight from high school to college/university – some, if not a lot of, things get shifted into perspective.

First, you discover that there’s more to life than trying to fit into a group or become the hottest thing since hot apple pie.

Next, you discover that people outside of a close, concentrated academic environment exist – and guess what…? It’s not all about cliques.

Then, you discover how glad you were that you grew up with a mix of public, private, and homeschooling – because the real world is waaaay different than 12 solid years of being around the same damn people (thank God I dodged that bullet).

Alright, so everyone’s story is different, and maybe that last sentence only applies to a few – but that’s not my point. My point is, college life can teach you a lot about yourself – if you play your cards right.

keep-calm-and-play-your-cards-right-3

Rule number 1: It’s not always about drinking.

Rule number 2: It’s not always about getting the top grade.

Rule number 3: It’s not always about following the herd.

Rule number 4: It’s no always about shying away from the herd.

For many, if they’ve never lived on their own before, college is more like a crash course – an easy, fluff version of a crash course, mind you, if mum and dad are still supporting you – but a crash course nonetheless.

How did I spend so much money

I went to university in England…oh, and as a side note – I use college/university interchangeably throughout this whole post – due to the sole reason in the states, college is equivalent to university, BUT university in the UK is not  equivalent to college – yet instead college is a precursor to uni. So it’s merely for the sake of grammatical relation across the board.

Right, so to continue….

I went to university in England – and I remember seeing students wait around for their student loans to come in…I remember the dialogues well – they were too funny not to.

“Aw man…I need my student loans like now…I’m totally skint from this month”

“What happened?”

“All the nights out…I’ve been at The Adelphi almost every night this week, too…plus me and a few mates went up to Blackpool last weekend…..but I’m gonna spend this one a bit better – I need groceries, new shoes, and I’ve gotta get a couple books I’ve not been able to find at the library.”

“Aww, that sucks. I’m in the same spot…and the pressure of my assessment being due right around the corner hasn’t been much help either. So hey – once you do get a top up how about we head over to Roper or Revolution? They’ve got drink specials going on.”

“Definitely, let’s go.”

Bloody Mary Prayer

The best part was when the deposit dates drew nearer, nearly everyone heard these sort of conversations, and when walking down the street you’d see the queue of students at the ATMs on campus around 8 o’ clock at night. I couldn’t help but laugh…not at them, more with them.

I used to be one of those students in that line. Not for the same reasons – not really pressed for cash in the usual way most of them were.

Not going to college right away was a sort of cheat sheet, for me at least…and it can, and should be, for a lot of other people.

For those of you that missed out or are about to miss out on that opportunity, however, let me shoot a few pointers your way….also PLEASE note – these pointers apply to ALL aspects of life…not just college/university. It’s a quick rundown, no more than 3 points, so don’t worry about settling in for a nap.

Managing your money is probably the first thing anyone should learn, no matter what age or what they’re doing, whether it’s schooling or career, business or just being a bum.

Drinking, is not as bad as everyone thinks – if done in moderation. For one, to an extent and with the right balance, it can open up entirely new ways of thinking….just look at all the great writers 😉

Power of moonshine

Anything’s beneficial in moderation. Except exercise – the sky’s the limit with exercise so there’s a benefit all the way. The key with drinking here though is to cut back a little on your nights out to just any old bar, and instead live like the Swedes – host house parties if you’ve got the space…the booze are less and you can use your money on other nights where the places are TOP quality, and nothing less.

Grocery shopping and what not isn’t as hard as many may think. It’s just what you eat that’s key. If you grab a good healthy cookbook, that uses a few consistent ingredients, you’ve got yourself a gold mine – which means more money to stash aside and reinvest, and more money to celebrate with because you picked a great handful of investments. So go ahead…step away from that pizza box and cup of ramen.

Grab a few solid credit cards, do NOT use them to spend stupidly – take your core bills, charge them off those credit cards according to category, and prepare to watch time leverage work in your favour….

just don’t forget to pay the bill, in full, and on time – as mentioned in my Musings Episode 19. Execute this properly and you’ll be rolling in dough.

wads-cash-006

Lastly, focusing intently on something and stressing out over it gets you nowhere.

Why? Because when you spend time running around focusing on “how is this going to get done, I’ve got this going on and this to do, the deadline’s this, the demands are that, yadda yadda yadda.”

No.

Stop the mental chatter…and focus on what’s good for you. First thing in the morning, get up to complete silence, and meditate. It doesn’t have to involve incense, it doesn’t have to involve a pray room, it doesn’t even have to involve focusing on the things that are priority. It just focuses on what’s good for you. What makes you tick, what makes you think, what makes you driven, and what makes you push forward. What makes your blood boil, what makes life life, for you.

That’s what needs to be focused on. The success will come and the anxiety will deaden, with minimal effort on your part, and a few small, simple solutions.

The thing here is to not lock onto all the issues in life – but lock onto the main things that you know will get you ahead, while having fun….then take those “issues” and try making Limoncello out of them 😉

Once you learn how to do this….

Then you’re in the right direction headed to the right track…and remember….

even-if-you-are-on-the-right-track-you

…so you know what to do.

Hope this helps…

– Rego

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