Grow up.

…is something I heard once a few years back when getting into a fight. I’m not talking a verbal fight – no, I’m talking hand-to-hand, fist-to-fist fight.

Ironically, this was from the instigator.

I was hitting the heavy bag pretty hard the other day, when this thought came to mind. You know how it is, you’re going and going in your workout, and sometimes, whether you like it or not, you shift focus and your mind wanders.

It’s interesting how people “define” what growing up really is.

In that case, it was because of my attempt to avoid the fight entirely, that had made them say it.

Ever seen someone dance around a ring to avoid exchanging blows? That was me.

To be quite honest – that’s always been me. Wanna know what I mean? Read on…

Musings Episode 72: Grow up…

I’m not a very confrontational person – frankly, I deem it too draining. If I can solve something with words, I will as much as possible. It seems much better than to duke it out like so many guys seem to want to do.

And really that’s the number one rule in any combat sport – dissipating a confrontational situation as quickly as possible without any physical action unless absolutely required.

To me, that’s maturity. That’s growing up. That’s being “grown up.”

Anyone can force an opinion, or a situation on someone through violence, with enough of said violence…it’s called fascism.

But to connect with someone and get them to see your opinion, or engage with you in something through use of simple words (from the heart), logic, and reasoning? That’s skill. That’s talent. That’s confidence in your own ability.

Brute force, in my opinion, is somewhat of a special reserve. Your rarely use it, if ever.

Like a bottle whiskey you set aside for only certain occasions. Sweet wines, or “aperitifs” are something you have often with dessert after dinner. 30 year old Macallan? Save that for another day.

Not openin’ this shit up for another 50 years.

But brute force, can be really, really, immature and neanderthal-ish.

Growing up is about using your head – and often, your heart. The last one is a bit tricky though, as sometimes people can exploit your vulnerabilities, thus taking advantage of your trust.

Yet ironically, as people get older they forget that’s the mold that keeps “humanity” a real word to begin with.

Generally looking at society, you may think that most kids, when they grow up, grow out of imagination and boldness – true, from an artistic point of view.

But if you take that a step further, I’d say many people don’t really grow up as quickly as they grow old…

…and in growing old, if not careful you can grow out of the basics that you came into this world with.

Compassion.
Empathy.
Understanding.
Love – love for mankind – not romantic love.

Anyone remember the golden rule? Do unto your brother as you’d want done unto you? Basic, loose translation of what I remember.

If everyone, and I do mean everyone, kept that at the forefront of their mind everyday, societies would be far more than just “polite” or “nice” – but downright genuine.

Because really, that’s where maturity is at.

People grow older, but childish tendencies remain – the textbook bully, the over-competitive spirit, the innocent fabler.

Those are all easy things to never grow out of.

But that’s not what growing up is about.

It’s about preserving what’s constructive and eliminating what’s not.

It’s about remembering the type of person you want to be and the kind of mark you want to leave on the world.

This kind of thinking doesn’t make you a hippie, or a peace activist – it just keeps in focus for you what’s important – the golden rule…

…whether you realize it or not, that golden rule holds the literal weight it figuratively exemplifies.

It’s one of the most mature things to ever be said, while at the same time can be understood by what so many adults classify as the simplest, most “immature” people – children.