There’s a couple of holidays coming up.
Let’s figure out how to enjoy them.
For The Weekenders: Luck of The Irish, Espresso Brunches, Egg Cream Easters…
There are several points in a person’s life where they’ve just gotta have the right things, at the right times, for the right moments.
It’s something about hitting the timing perfectly that makes a moment or an event just perfect – noteworthy.
So when I think about how St. Patrick’s Day is coming up, I think about the last time I had a memorable one…
…and then quickly like to forget about that exact moment (largely because the last memorable one involved moonshine…and being knocked sideways by said moonshine).
Following up from last week’s For The Weekenders, here’s 3 drink recipes that’ll have you ready for any occasion.
It’s time to bring out your inner Irishman.
The crazy one.
You know – the one that gets and/or arrives drunk at a late relative’s funeral/wake, snatches the pack of gummy bears from a child who’s been given them just to keep quiet, and starts swearing at Uncle Carl because “he always was a menacing, cheap, greedy bastard”.
…yeah, that guy.
But if you’re gonna do it, be classy as fuck while doing so.
They say you are what you eat.
I say you are what you drink, too.
In this case, a Nutty Irishman.
The Nutty Irishman
This is great for those moments during St. Patty’s Day where you need a little pick me up but still want to maintain a buzz – without the worry of a heart attack from an energy drink like, oh I don’t know, Red Bull…
(When mixed with alcohol it doesn’t give you wings.)
(Just cardiac arrest.)
- 5 oz. Coffee (freshly brewed, nice and hot)
- Opt for French roast – you’ll want something robust and dark, and French works well here.
- 1 oz. Bailey’s Irish Cream
- .5 oz. Frangelico (yep, like last time) Hazelnut Liqueur
- .5 oz. Jameson Irish Whiskey
- Fresh Whipped Cream (Just a dollop)
While all these ingredients are just wonderful, there’s an art to their assembly. So first things first…
You’ll want to grab a heated mug, and pour your hot coffee into it.
Now add your Irish cream, hazelnut liqueur, and Irish whiskey.
Take your freshly whipped cream and top everything off, then sit back and enjoy each sip.
While this will probably become a favorite of yours even outside the context of St. Patrick’s Day, having one too many of these, no matter how much coffee is in them, will probably leave you hungover if you don’t balance things out with a good bit of water.
So the day after, while I doubt you’ll be making breakfast, it’d be smart to have a hefty, healthy brunch.
The best way to cure a hangover is naturally to replenish your energy.
Give yourself strength.
Nurse yourself slowly off the alcohol consumed the night prior with a mid-brunch martini.
You know, can’t just go cold turkey and all that.
So alongside the French toast, poached eggs, and beef sausages, I strongly recommend some wake-up juice.
And by wake-up juice I mean an Espresso Martini.
First there’s coffee, then there’s espresso.
You want something concentrated like espresso, which’ll slap you from seeing double back to seeing single, and hopefully get the ringing out of your ears and pupils back to working normally, where you’re not squinting if a lightning bug flies around your face as if someone’s trying to blind you.
This is meant to be a pick me up so putting everything together is pretty simple here.
Grab a cocktail shaker with some ice in it, and pour everything into it, tossing in the sprig of mint as well.
Shake everything up well for about 15-20 seconds, then strain it all into a chilled martini glass.
See how simple that was? Less than two steps and you’re brain’s back to not feeling like it’s the proverbial nail under a hammer.
If you don’t know how to make simple syrup (you sad human being, you), it’s really…
Here’s how to do it. Grab:
- 2 Cups Water
- 2 Cups Granulated Sugar
If it wasn’t too much of a strain to prepare these ingredients, put both of them into a medium saucepan.
Put the saucepan over medium heat until the water gets just below boiling.
Make sure you stir this well – it’s important the sugar is completely dissolved.
Once that’s done, take the pan off the heat and let it cool until it’s room temperature.
Take your newly made simple syrup and use it for making your Espresso Martini, then seal the rest in a clean mason jar.
It’ll last you for just under a month if you keep it in the fridge, in the event you have anymore drinking mishaps and need a recovery fix.
After you’re done partying like a drunk Irishman (or if you’re already Irish…just partying like a drunk, I guess), you’ll need to eventually straighten your shit up.
You know, because Jesus day is right around the corner.
And by Jesus day, I mean Easter.
Which is ironically on the 1st of April, according to Google.
Also which somehow, has me imagining Jesus being like…
Seeing as Easter’s become pretty commercialized these days though, and rather than doing the right thing and just guilt tripping people into remembering what dicks they are on a day-to-day basis, the stores are littered with Cadbury creme eggs and chocolate bunnies the size of your 4 year-old toddler (child?).
So if you’re not a heartless uncle or aunt who deliberately proposes Easter is spent somewhere snowy only to paint all the eggs white and hide them in said snow, for the little ones never to find…you’ll probably want something to get you through this bastardized version of the original holiday.
Something along the lines of an egg cream.
Chocolate Egg Cream
If you’re from Brooklyn, you’ll be familiar with these.
You’ll also know that despite the name, there’s no actual egg or cream for that matter, in these.
It’s a sweet beverage, with a nice mellow buzz that follows.
Perfect for Easter festivities, innocent enough to look like it belongs in a soda shop, and mature enough where you have to stress to your nephew or niece that no, this is a *special* drink that uncle’s/auntie’s drinking which was prescribed by your…doctor, for…medicinal purposes…and isn’t safe for little ones.
“Prescription only K Timmy thx bye.”
….here’s what you’ll need:
- 2 oz. Stoli Vanil Vodka
- 2 oz. Chocolate Syrup
- 1 oz. Khalúa
- 1/2 Cup Whole Milk
- Club Soda
When no one’s around in the kitchen, you’ll mix everything except the club soda in a cocktail shaker.
Shake everything up for about 15-20 seconds, then pour into a tall, chilled glass.
Here’s the part that takes a little skill – you’re gonna slowly add club soda to your glass – and stir the mixture ever so gently as you pour.
If you want that nice, frothy texture that usually comes with egg creams, you’ll need to use a soda gun instead, so in this case an old-school spritzer bottle is your best bet.
Otherwise, if you’re just pouring your club soda straight from a bottle, make sure you stir it gently, but also well enough to create a froth top by the time you’re finished making it.
Quality drinks take patience…no matter how impatient your relatives might be with you this Easter holiday.
There’s always something for every occasion.
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