Musings Episode 6: Leadership, Justified Anger, and Professionalism

This week I really wanted to talk about main aspects of business where you see a lot of articles written about but rarely ever really discussed…it’s usually the cookie cutter version you see, but never the real side.

So I thought I’d talk about how the three points – leadership, justified anger, and professionalism all tie into each other, but are seldom used together successfully.

First off, let’s go with leadership. What really makes a good leader? Most would say someone who is good at giving orders and direction. Others would say someone who has the power of persuasion…and still others would say one who is quick at making decisions when a problem arises and they have to direct an entire team.

While all of these may be true, the other critical parts are kind of, shied away in the corner. What about leaders who show consistency? Resilience? Who are quick to make a decision AND slow to change their mind? Or, how about a leader who knows how to project the image of leadership but not the image of a tyrant or jackass?


Many times, especially today, leaders are thought to be powerful and feared, with a sort of dictator-type presence to them…fear and intimidation are taught to be the defining attributes of a good leader, having everyone tremble when you walk into the room…pair it with a hot temper when an employee screws up or doesn’t deliver, and you’ve got yourself an office nazi.


But really, when we think about it, it’s this type of fear that causes many of a leader’s subordinates to begin developing a smoldering, slow resentment or disdain for their supervisor, which can have more detrimental than successful results.

While the whip and sheckels tactic may have worked for some of humanity’s prior ancestors in the days of Egypt, what many corporations today don’t realize is that this kind of method can make a company lose tons of money.

The way a business owner, manager, or any kind of supervisor treats their employees or subordinates plays a big role in productivity, work efficiency, and morale…and frankly, I believe these are the things that are being sorely overlooked nowadays.

Sure, you may be able to get away with barking at Joe’s back all day everyday for a week because he’s the new kid on the block, but within a month there is a high probability Joe is going to feel frustrated, stressed, angry, and non-chalant about his job, and he’s pretty much going to experience a huge morale drop.

Joe also may become a tad edgy. Just a tad.

This kind of thing would then create a domino effect of decreased work performance, meaning more mistakes, less attention to detail, and even a “fuck it all” attitude towards any work that gets pushed Joe’s way. This ultimately leads to overall sub-par effort and a decrease in company profit.

The sad part is Joe could be a really great employee. I’ve seen so many employees who put 300% effort into their work get metaphorically kicked around and abused, or short changed and taken advantage of by employers who don’t realize they’ve hired a potential gold mine, if they just changed their leadership tactics…these same employees eventually give up, instead kicking themselves into “auto pilot mode” and giving at most 75%, feeling like work is a never-ending  spiral of monotany.

Hell, whenever I used to do hiring and even present day, I look for many things average employers don’t – and I’ll turn down many who try to kiss my ass on the first meet.

I believe employees should be directed as such: I like to make sure my hirees know responsibility, accountability, self-confidence but humbleness, and knowing when and how to stand up for themselves. I’ll treat my employees as my equal so long as it’s understood the respect is on a contingent basis of their performance and responsibility for their own actions.

They have to, have to, HAVE TO, be the type to own up to their mistakes without fear, or fear of judgment. Everyone fucks up sometimes, but admitting you did takes courage – and courage shows initiative – and initiative shows leadership.

If an employee shows me genuine effort – which doesn’t mean working themselves to the bone – and knows how to maximize time efficiency while showing independent thinking, I grab such a person and hold onto them by treating them as a business partner – not a subordinate.

Business Day

Because when you think about it – everyone is a partner in business, it’s a team effort. If one “gear” stops working or is neglected, eventually the whole machine starts having problems.

So I treat my employees as my equal, and when disciplinary action arises, enforce it. After all, whipping a horse so many times will only make it become numb to the feeling after a while.

This leads me to my next point – justifiable anger. So many employers nowadays look at aggression as a power tool, showing dominance and “who’s boss”. Little do they realize this type of controlling attitude long-term gets them nowhere.

I tend to think the opposite…because anger is a two way street. A supervisor could think that consistently seeming angry at everyone in the business is equivalent to running a ship with an iron fist, but what they fail to realize is that through the false anger – legitimate anger can materialize – on the employees side.

Jusitifiable anger can be defined by examples such as this: If an employer constantly barks at and criticizes the employee that is doing their work, as mentioned earlier, eventually this employee can, and will develop a slow, smoldering resentment towards their supervisor.

This is justified anger. The same way some employers who have administrative assistants, get the people who work under that job title to run millions of errands for them. The admin assistant may carry out everything to a T – but if it’s eating a huge hole in their pocket, eventually that assistant will begin to become stressed due to unnecessary financial expense variables they had not originally planned to come out of their wages…and by becoming stressed become irritated…and irritated then becomes aggravation, and aggravation becomes frustration…and frustration, anger.

When you have employees in this state, the power of persuasion is powerless. Hence why many supervisors find themselves only getting employees to carry out a task one of two ways – through forced command, or half-assedly…and they wonder why.

The funny thing is, the whole concept of how to treat an employee, or any person for that matter still boils down to the one rule everyone learned in kindergarten but always seems to forget as they age:


This doesn’t mean just being nice to someone – it also means when problems arise standing up for yourself, and expecting other to do the same.

Such a simple, no-brainer rule…yet still many seem to forget. Sure it may sound silly to some – but this rule can get businesses – and anyone really, on the right track and in line with the prosperity they’ve been looking for. It also makes for a stress free environment. Who doesn’t want that???

I highly recommend checking out All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, by Robert Fulghum. It’s a read you won’t wanna pass up.

Stay awesome.

– Rego

Musings Episode 6: Leadership, Justified Anger, and Professionalism is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life

Musings Episode 4: Dreams, Jobs, and Careers – Parallel yet Perpendicular

Earlier on I mentioned to you guys about a new business venture I’ve delved into. Long story short it has very much to do with working with a CEO of a medium sized real estate company that solely focuses on vacation rentals and extended stays, with a few regular leases thrown in the mix.

Don’t forget the long island iced tea.

To put it simply the guy is a complete mess, and just by speaking to some of his managers I could immediately tell just how much of a mess he is. Yet he’s not the focus – no, because real estate was one of his dreams – so really, he’s a happy mess. It’s the employees, I felt compelled to write about. For legal purposes, I’m not going to disclose any names, and all names used, if any, will be ficticious.

My focus on this episodic musing is really more or less about how people have dreams, choose careers, and work jobs.

Usually the order in which those 3 things are executed are sometimes switched around, and very often, the dreams are lost by the jobs people take.

It’s been my observation, that the cycle goes a little like this:

Pre-K through 3rd grade – your teacher asks you what you want to be when you grow up. If you were like me, you had 2 answers – Spider-Man, or the CEO of an awesome, company. Usually, as all teachers do, you get giggled at and are told that’s “adorable”. Others in class, may say they want to be a fireman or police officer, ballet dancer or singer.


….fear my wrath.

4th grade through 8th – Again, your teacher asks you the same question, though differently – this time, she asks what profession you’d like to take on. Again, if you’re like me, you come up with multiple answers – CEO of an awesome company, professional drifter, or Spider-Man. In respective descending order this time, mind you. Again, she chuckles slightly, and says that’s cute. Others in class may still say fireman, police officer…or professional skateboarder, world renowned painter.


9th grade through 12th – Once more, the same question is asked – though this time, it’s “now that you will be graduating soon, what career path is everyone considering? It is important to know this and hit the books, as it is critical to know what college is going to best aid you in your success”. Again, if you’re like me, you come up with again, multiple answers – awesome CEO of a company, professional drifter, CEO of an automatic business and world traveler. Again, your teacher laughs, saying that’s admirable, but it would be good to start considering an ACTUAL career path, such as doctor, teacher, lawyer, etc. Puzzled you look on fidgeting, slightly offended and annoyed, as the options you stated WERE serious answers.



Fast forward to college, and you find that 50% of your friends and classmates are no longer stating the same answers they had when they were younger, but instead now find themselves developing a pattern of either two things: switching majors based on which pays the most MONEY, or sticking with their major and HATING IT, but sticking with it anyway, because society says it pays the most MONEY…or, simply switching their majors out of sheer boredom because they honestly can’t STAND any of the bullshit society has fed them about college and career paths in general.


If you notice – as time progresses through the timelines I have just given example of, all of these boil down to 3-4 types of situations and people…no, actually, just 3. We have:

1. The people who have abandoned their DREAMS and genuine desires to invest labor into something they actually LIKE – and instead pursue what pays the most…or as I like to call it – the first signs of SLAVERY to a FIAT currency and CONSUMERISM. Though they may say they are career seekers…they are instead what I call the true JOB seekers…and years later those 50 something year old dudes who drive around in Corvettes with their secretaries they left their wife for 3 months ago…hardly a mid-life crisis, more a psychological break…or both.


2. The people who sort of stick to something that they find they like, a bit…just a bit, but have a tendency to switch up or feel indecisive in their decision because of the sheer fact none of what they’re really pursuing is something that they feel a BURNING PASSION for within them…the type of burning where it feels like the sun is at the top of your belly button (or solar-plexus , but not in a scorching way…more like a warm, fuzzy feeling type way. Or…as I like to call it, people who have over the years, or are now slowly developing a “blurred” vision of what their real dreams are, and have lost vision again, because of money. Sometimes, I like to call this “slurred,” as well, drunken by the pursuit of money. Dependent on circumstance, this shift could have arisen from true financial necessity or lack (i.e. where no one has had their back, so they fight to survive, learn to hustle, strategize, whatever you may call it). These people, have the potential, to pursue an alternative career TEMPORARILY, in order to work towards their real DREAMS, while sticking to taking ACTION that coincides with their dreams…and not lose focus.


And finally…

3. The people who are so bored with the bullshit they’ve been fed by society, they switch up from slight misdirection, or because they haven’t yet realized the reason for their actions in doing so is BECAUSE subconsciously, their very inner being is refusing to work with their psyche, and hold true to what they REALLY want out of life, and what they REALLY want to pursue doing, having, and experiencing. There are situations where, these people have the potential to ace whatever they put their mind to or study, and bored because of it…because they know that while they’re good at it, they still want to pursue their real dreams.


I’m excellent with numbers and organizing but I’m pretty sure I’d stab my own hand with a pen if I had to be an accountant for the rest of my life (to all you accountants out there, I appreciate and admire you…no offense intended).

So basically, we see that the usual routine of society goes like this:

When we’re young, we have dreams – big dreams – and no matter how crazy they seem to “adults,” i.e. being Superman, Spider-Man, Green Lantern, or owner of a multi-billion dollar lemonade stand company, we don’t care. We don’t care if adults laugh, because somehow, when we’re younger, we don’t know FEAR. We don’t know LIMITS. We don’t know DOUBT…and we don’t know FAILURE. ALLLLLL of these things are TAUGHT behavior. We were never born with any of them. Now you can finally explain to your mother about that one time you thought it was “totally safe to jump from the roof line,” and somehow, you still landed just fine.


Then, as we progress through standard schooling, we’re taught mistakes are bad, limits and rules are mandatory, failure is getting the wrong answer or thinking the wrong way, which then develops doubt, and doubt develops fear, and fear develops adulthood…or as I like to call it – battered childhood…yet still, we still hold partially onto our dreams, and think that “okay, well, I’m not that great at this, but I’m still pretty good at this, so getting this type of job would be cool..I guess.”

Finally, we find ourselves even further subjected to the vicious cycle of “there is one answer, one solid way of finding that answer, mistakes are death, doubt yourself to avoid making mistakes, fear and get it right the first time to avoid doubt,” and so on and so forth. SO…what do we do? We then sway and spiral between dreams, career paths, and jobs.

Often, we freak out about jobs, because we want the right one, that will steer us on the right career path…and often, we’re so focused on the right career path, we lose focus of our dream…because really, in the first place, any “path” that we were to take…was supposed to lead us to our dreams. Society, however, through repetition  conditioning, and reinforcement, drilled into our head, that our dreams, are not what we think they are.



With enough will power, some of us break this cycle, and KEEP OUR EYE ON THE BALL…and when we do, we avoid being hit in the metaphorical nuts. The pitcher we call life, can be paid to play dirty, after all. It’s whether or not we play by their rules…or our rules. Our rules, are simply keeping ourselves focused and knowing that the “normal system” of doing things, is far from perfect…because what is perfection anyway? It’s not perfection we need. But instead….

Will power.

These are the ingredients that make dreams come true.

These are the ingredients that make miracles happen.

Miracles do not happen by some haphazard drunken-universe chance.

Miracles happen when we stay FOCUSED on what we want, and can’t fathom it being any. Other. Fucking. Way.

This can range from the money you want to make.
To the things you want to experience.
To the girlfriend or boyfriend you want to have.
To the place you want to live.

It’s SETTLING for LESS, that fucks us over…and settling, expands far beyond the monetary sense.

So…we can have a job and a dream – as long as that job is a tool to work towards that dream…what I call parallel pairing.

We can have a career path, and a dream – as long as that career path is steered towards that dream…again, parallel pairing.

BUT….having a job, to steer us towards a career path…with no dream in the equation or at the finish line whatsoever? This is perpendicular thinking. It collides. You don’t get anywhere like that. It’s a bit like….well, it’s like riding the Yamanote line in Tokyo, and getting off at the last stop.

For those of you who have lived in Tokyo – you will know, that this is a cruel trick played on newcomers.

The Yamanote line is a neverending loop. There is no last stop. The last stop is the first stop. It is quite literally, a circle. So when someone says to you “just take the Yamanote line and get off at the last stop”…believe me…they are totally fucking with you.


The same way your boss fucks with you saying there’s great potential for you but shooting you down everytime you try to “climb that corporate ladder”…

Fuck the ladder.

Keep your eye on the ball, and take a goddamn helicopter.

Stay FOCUSED. The same way you stay focused at the gym. The same way way you stay focused when you try and aim for that 10-headshot streak trophy in C.O.D. Modern Warfare.

If you can do it there, you can do it in every aspect of life.

YOU have to believe in YOU.


Even if you want to be built like Daniel Craig or look like Eva Mendes.


Even if you want every person you date to be a 10.

Even if you want to be a professional race car driver.

Even if that dream is still wanting to be Spider-Man.

They have a technology for that now, too.

Stay awesome.


It’s what we were born for.

– Rego

Musings Episode 4: Dreams, Jobs, and Careers – Parallel yet Perpendicular is a post from and appeared first on Rego’s Life