Sitting in one place too long is never a good thing for a person.
It makes them twitchy.
Disgruntled.
Downright irritated and mean.
Or maybe that’s just my Aunt when she stays in her house too long and goes on an e-shopping sprees for a week straight. I call her the bag lady.
The Mary Poppins kind. Except Portuguese.
Either way, let’s take this For The Weekenders post and get you out of the country, and into a little bit of exploration. Enjoy.
Golf…one of the most relaxing, yet psychological games in the world. Right up there with fencing – if fencing didn’t involve swords. While I know some of you nay-sayers may disagree, exclaiming it is one of the most boring sports on the face of the earth – allow this next bit to change your mind.
Playing golf at Blue Ridge Mountain is entertaining – playing golf in Scotland is epic.
No? Still not fascinating enough?
Oh right – did I mention there’s a helicopter involved?
Yes, I’m talking about heligolfing. What sorcery is this, you say…? Well, for one, it’s not that sorcerous at all. Except for maybe the fact you can have drinking added to the agenda. So the next time you’re globe trotting by yourself, want something fun to do while your S.O. is out for a day at the spa, or just need an excuse to ditch the kids, ring up Gary and Andy with the code word “heligolf.”
From there all you have to do is show up – get your favorite set of clubs out, shine your golfing shoes and prepare to be escorted from course to course via both helicopter and Bentley. Yes, you heard right – Bentley. If you’re going to golf with a helicopter, you’ve gotta have the proper car to match.
The classy way to avoid responsibilities.
So you’ve popped over to Scotland, you’ve been transported over to the first hole – what happens next? Well, you get the game of your life, to put it simply. Gary and Andy are both ex-pro golfers, and if there’s anything that makes their day, it’s a good game and a great challenge. Don’t worry – in the event you just plain suck they’ll (possibly) go easy on you – but not too easy – you want it to be a memorable game, after all.
However, in the event you really do cock up, and somehow manage to wrap your 9-iron around the nearest tree after hitting the ball into the hellish sand bunkers Scottish golf courses are so famous for, you may need a drink.
Or five.
Either way, they’ve got you covered. Slowly back away from the tree, pop into the helicopter, and fly your way over to the nearest bar on site. Order up a brandy, take some putting advice, and answer your phone explaining to your wife (husband?) you’re going through a tunnel and losing reception. Sip. Toast to the good life. Sip again.
Let’s say you’re not much of a golfer though, and are into the more adventurous things. More rugged things. More novel things. More things to build some sort of basic human endurance, where you feel one with nature.
Or maybe, if you’re female, you’re looking to emulate those women you see in the romantic shampoo commercials. Male? Maybe you’ve always dreamed of being Fabio.
We’re not here to judge.
Either way, this next one is not for the faint of heart. It’s more like James Bond (the Daniel Craig one), meets Fabio – then proceeds to kick Fabio’s ass at a 5 day 4 night trek through the Atacama Desert. Where exactly is, the Atacama Desert? Well, it’s located in South America – Chile to be exact – and it’s probably the most interesting thing you will encounter there.
The first European explorers of this area were drawn by tales of a land rich in gold, somewhere to the south of the Inca Empire. It was on this quest that the Spaniard Diego de Almagro, after a dramatic journey across the Andes mountains in which more than half of his men perished, became the first European adventurer to arrive in Chile and walk across the Atacama desert. Just as then, Atacama today continues to be a unique experience, an unforgettable encounter with surroundings rich in traditions, forms and colors.
So exciting Nathan Drake would want in.
So what do you expect when you get there? To put it simply, a semi-private (maximum 8 people) adventure that can take you 4500 meters plus, above sea level. A guide that is fluent in every standard language Berlitz offers as a learning package (Spanish, French, German, obviously English), and 7 to 14 different options for your much anticipated exploration.
So pull up a bar stool, order your multi-lingual guide a drink, and prepare to go over all your options, while picking wisely from volcanos, salt flats, geysers, wetlands, and the commonly known mountains. Shoot for the Quebrada del Diablo and gain some serious bragging rights for when you get home – bragging that includes the words “trotting” and “leaps.”
Disclaimer: Finding gold not guaranteed.
After all that adventure, you may want to relax and sip Mai Tais. Let’s get a little more original than that, skip sipping any form of mixed cocktails by the pool, and instead grab a cooler and load it with a 12 pack of Laurentina Clara – that’s right, next stop, Mozambique.
This is the time to let the weekend go from 2-3 days…to 2 weeks.
Get ready to hit up over 30 – yes, you read right, 30 different islands while you and a crew explore the Quirimbus Archipelago in northern Mozambique – this isn’t your standard run-of-the-mill lazy Sunday float by – it’s a fucking adventure.
So what do you do? Grab a few people (or hey, person) that mean a lot to you, toss your sandals off, run towards the beach and hop into a traditional dhow – get oriented with your crew, learn a few names, trade a few jokes, and sail your way from Ibo island into the Mozambique Channel.
Your geography lesson for the evening.
Take your time but go crazy and start your island hopping with star gazing at Matemo Island, fishing in Ulumbwa, and watch out for those reefs on your way to Little Rolas Island – wouldn’t wanna spill your drink or worse – fall in the water when you’re trying to impress a certain someone. Best to make this trip memorable, not laughable.
Island hop a bit more until you make your way over to Londo Lodge, and go from dhow to canoe, to do a bit more exploring but on a more independent proactive level – sorry, no cup holders here so better to leave the alcohol back at the lodge.
Where the water’s like a mirror to the sky.
Canoeing is hard work, so I recommend hitting up the spa after, only to shuffle over to some outdoor lounge chairs, order up some food, and soak up the view while your object of desire makes their way over to you with the finest bottle of wine you’ve come across and two glasses. Grab your trusty corkscrew you somehow manage to sneak in every time you fly, twist, pull, pour, and enjoy.
This is life. Sit back and relish.
– Rego
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